Think what they would have done it had been a kitten!

ANNALS OF CRIME: think what they would have done if it had been a kitten!

Ypsilanti woman punched by teen girl

An Ypsilanti woman said she was punched in the chest Monday by a teenager who was angry that her daughter wasn’t at home.

Ypsilanti police said that the woman reported that five or six teenage girls kicked at her door in the 300 block of South Street at about 3:30 p.m. and demanded to see her daughter and her new puppy.

When the woman told them her daughter wasn’t home, she said, one of the girls punched her in the chest. She was not seriously injured.

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Phyllis Davis: Love Vessel

Phyllis Davis: Love Vessel


Phyllis begins in disguise, with a wig on, heavily made up, looking like a moderately priced hooker, in a silky, loose jump suit – but still everything comes through, most obviously that incredible, best on T.V. body, which manages as time progresses to show not only, like that nurse in Catch-22, two nipples standing out like bing cherries under the thin fabric, but other incomparable riches, the seismic curves of the deep rolling cream of her breasts uncovered in an extreme v-neck as obligingly and semi-naturally she does a series of pirouettes and bend-overs which expose as much firm but shifting softly white as standards and practices will allow – the sound’s off but the situation seems to be one that I can dimly remember – Phyllis’s man is bankrupt, and pimps Phyllis to a lecherous associate to bail himself out – what a scenario! Are we really supposed to hiss the villain boyfriend when he’s pimping Phyllis to the lech the same way Aaron Spelling is pimping her to the audience? Or feel contempt for the dirty old man when he’s ogling her the same way we are? Is there any man out there who wouldn’t rise to that bait? Especially when Phyllis’s strongest inner quality, her vulnerability, which accompanies her outer, brassy sexuality, emerges so transparently – not only in the exposed position of her character and the silly disguise she has to wear and the gymnastics she has to go through to make the lech’s eyes pop out, but, in a certain Marilyn Monroe-like way, vulnerable as herself, Phyllis Davis the actress, who, as a character she played admitted in another episode, is seen first and foremost as a body, cast to display herself to the public in the same way her character’s been coerced to display herself to the villain, vulnerable to the embarrassment of it all, the tawdriness of both actress and character being exploited simply for physical attraction, used like a hypnotic object to separate the viewer from his money.

And yet, along with the vulnerability she projects – Are you just using me? Do you only like me for my body? – the mirror reflection questions of the character asking other characters and the actress asking the audience that shine from her eyes, there’s her undeniable erotic power, her assurance, her poise, her grace, and she’s very aware of it, both Phyllis and the viewer glorying in her physicality, as she moves, so confident and practiced in this dance of seduction, even a slight contempt for the oh so easily manipulated male expressing itself in the ironic twist of her lips, and she’s really teasing us all, isn’t she, promising revelation, taunting us with these hints of her most private parts, flashing enough to keep us drooling from commercial to commercial, while we all know that the censor will never allow her to reveal the most fundamental mysteries of her body, the same way the lech will never actually get into her pants.

And yet, despite the fact that you feel as if the writer is deliberately degrading her, punishing her out of resentment over the power of her sexuality, somehow Phyllis transcends, even within this leaky love vessel, the pseudo-serious sentimentality even more painful than the pseudo-porn, the whole thing a clumsy parody of not only of life, but of art – and still her projection of eroticism, vulnerability and a complex, mysterious consciousness gleams out of the crap of it – like Sophia, the Gnostic first thought, Wisdom herself cast down to earth as a prostitute the same way Phyllis has been cast by demiurge Aaron into a very similar role. Her image lingers beyond any single part, as that modern day minor divinity the Sex Symbol, surrendering herself on screen as you feel she would in life, tender, soft, sweet, willing, but somehow essentially melancholic, fallen from innocence, not knowing, even at the final moment of ecstasy, if she is desirable for her own self, or just for the spirit of lust she engenders, yet needing to experience, to create that desire, sucking it up like her life’s blood….

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Hunting The Wild Duck

Hunting The Wild Duck

 

I first got into Henrik Ibsen’s The Wild Duck while reading Shyness & Dignity by Dag Solstad (I’m sure you all remember my review – 3 out of 4 people find it useful on Amazon!) which begins with the main character having a moment of true insight about the play, leading to further epiphanies about his life and a sort of existential breakdown. I freely admit that I was totally unfamiliar with the play, which is considered his masterpiece in Scandinavia, but much less well known in the English speaking world. Ibsen’s always been on the wrong side of one of those (perhaps false) dichotomies that anchor my critical thinking – sort of as the Beatles to Strindberg’s Stones, but when I was genuinely moved by the movie version of The Wild Duck I thought I might have to reassess that opinion and, who knows, maybe the whole Hegelian dialectic way of thinking.

Fortunately, my rickety conceptual edifice remained intact, thanks to the fortuitous find at the Kiwanis rummage sale of The Modern Ibsen by Hermann J. Weigand. In his essay on the play Weigand writes:

"The Wild Duck" is an instance of the most remarkable self-discipline imposed on a dramatist upon a very active part of his self. The moralist is for once put under lock and key, securely gagged and bound…

The operative phrase for me is "for once" – in other words, even the Beatles could come up with a good song, even if they’re not fit to carry Keith Richards’s guitar strap. It is the oh so P.C., social reforming, issue oriented Ibsen that’s celebrated in the Anglo world, while it’s these very tendencies, in what I admit is a brilliant act of self-examination, whose destructive consequences are exposed in the play.

I’ll also admit that I saw the movie before I actually read the play, but that’s not as bad as a high schooler watching The Tale of Two Cities instead of reading it – plays are meant to be performed, after all, and I usually don’t enjoy reading them. The 1983 production of The Wild Duck packs an emotional punch, despite the murky set looking like it was light by candle light. The cast is very good, especially Liv Ullmann, who plays earth mother Gina. The usually excellent Jeremy Irons is unfortunately miscast as Hjalmar (here called Harold) – he’s just too lean and hungry to play a complacent, flabby blowhard. (UBU much more resembles the part!)

I finally did read the play in the handy Dover Thrift Edition ($2.00 in USA), and it made me appreciate the job the film makers did in adapting it and opening it up. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great play and a competent stage production would probably blow me away, but on the page Ibsen’s programmatic nature and idiosyncracies come through, and the necessary compression of the stage piles the conflicting emotions on a little too quickly.

Here’s one of my favorite parts, the good lines given, as usual, to Doctor Relling:

Relling.

Oh, individuality – he! If he ever had any tendency to the abnormal developments you call individuality, I can assure you it was rooted out of him while he was still in his teens.

And, to bring me back to the beginning, it’s Relling, a minor but pivotal character who is the focus of the obsession of Elias Rukla, the protagonist of Shyness and Dignity, and the subject of his shattering insight, which, now that I’m actually familiar with The Wild Duck, doesn’t seem all that brilliant to me, folding back in turn to lay another level of irony on Solstad’s work.

Dag, this literary stuff can get pretty heavy, huh?

For another psycho-biographical look at The Wild Duck check this rave out:

http://bad.eserver.org/issues/1994/11/bertsch.html

This is the kind of Academic that’s teaching your children, people!

While UBU’s just sitting here – watching the river flow…

YR PAL,

UBU

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Log of the HMS Metaphor: Quotebag

Log of the HMS Metaphor

 

Here arises the daughter of the great Thunderer who emerged from his head without a mother, and she proffers her hand to our lowly mind.

– Lorenzo de’ Medici

 

Indeed she was better than lovely, with her jet of hair and her pale set face, the whipcord knee and the hard bust sweating a little inside the black jersey.

– Samuel Beckett

 

Your salmon lioness face is dawn.

– Robert Lowell

 

I went into the room and Yun rose to greet me. She held my hands without saying a word. Our souls became smoke and mist. I thought I heard something, but it was as if my body had ceased to exist.

– Shen Fu

 

The Temian believe it is the rain spirit going berserk, and, while the men of a group hide in terror, the women strip themselves naked and run out into the clearing, dancing and screaming like demented creatures as they offer themselves to it.

– Richard Noone

 

They shone like golden altars, like spotless slivers of the moon, like rays of the oblation – devouring fire, like marvelous stars. As Agni saw the wives of the supreme Brahmins, his heart went out to them, his senses were agitated and he was in the power of desire.

– The Vedas

 

In primitive religion, religion and sexuality are one.

– Wilhelm Reich

 

The men of whom we speak, after losing the heart’s fresh gaiety, imagined a wild philosophy of pleasure, and came hither to act out their latest day dream.

– Nathaniel Hawthorne

 

I always imagined that you would take me to some place where there was a huge, wicked spider as big as a man, and we would spend the rest of our lives looking at it and being afraid of it. That’s what our love would be wasted on.

– Fyodor Dostoevsky

 

And a strange metaphysical question arises: Whether, when the object of an impassioned love has itself faded into shadow, the fiery passion itself can still survive as an abstraction, still morn over its wrongs, still clamor for redress. I have heard of such cases.

– Thomas De Quincey

 

The love she lacked, and which she had the will-power to refuse, became the torture of her life, an incessant and abominable torture. She had to fight against the fevers of her own body and the irritations from outside, against the facile emotions and lazy cowardice of her flesh and all the solicitations of Nature that assailed her. She had to struggle against the heat of the day and the suggestions of the night, the sticky heat of thundery days, the whisper of the past and memories, things suddenly imprinted within her…Despite everything she could not find peace or a cold heart.

– Edmond and Jules Goncourt

 

Those he would love fear him, with consternation. They wonder at his intense audacity.

– Charles Baudelaire

 

He thought to himself that it would be difficult to come through this adventure without being caught again in her hands.

– Marie-Madeleine Pioche de la Vergne, comtesse de la Fayette

 

My friend, the wisest among us is indeed fortunate not to have met that woman, beautiful or ugly, witty or stupid, who is capable of driving him out of his mind or having him locked up in a lunatic asylum.

– Denis Diderot

 

She is a disease, her flesh is insane. She is the secret of ecstasy and of Gods and of all things that are beautiful.

– Ben Hecht

 

She was the hetaera-teacher, determined to use her own erotically charged body to teach him the lessons of modernity.

– Irene Gammel

 

Ilyin sits opposite day and night, never taking his eyes off her, angered by his own weakness and pale with mental agony. He calls himself a dissolute schoolboy, abuses her, tears his hair, but when darkness comes and the passengers are asleep or get out at the station, he seizes the opportunity to kneel before her and press her knees.

– Anton Chekhov

 

He’d been mad about her in a colloquial sense first. And now he was mad about her in the literal sense.

– Cornell Woolrich

 

Screams. Choking. Hideous torment. Torn screams poured out, choked, grew, broke out. Choking. He held the woman by the wrist and shook her. He tore his hair, beat his fist against the wall, threw himself across the table, fell onto the floor, thrashed about, and then with a long sigh lay still. Small convulsions still shook his body.

Sophie stood bending forward, with an avaricious gaze. She grew. She filled the room. She arched herself into a prayer. She became a chalice. Its edges darted with flame. Higher. More brilliant.

– Franz Jung

 

Sad thought! That unto thee I gave my heart

Seeking for peace, and finding naught but pain.

Seeist thou the bitter anguish and the smart

With which life’s fairest years are taken?

But you and my aching grief

Waken the thoughts that had in slumber lain,

And point to paths, ascending which I gain

Sublime heights that may afford relief.

– Raphael

 

As the novel becomes in the hands of the anti-bourgeois writer more lyrical and more autobiographical than the Richardson prototype, seduction and adultery turn into a symbol not of a struggle between established and rising classes, but between the exceptional individual and conventional society. In this struggle, the woman comes to stand both for the seducer’s reward and his temptation to compromise; while the seducer himself is more and more closely identified with the author, a projection of self-pity and self-loathing.

– Leslie A. Fiedler

 

The rose and the poppy are her flowers; for where

Is he not found, O Lilith whom shed scent

And soft-shed kisses and soft sleep shall snare?

Lo! as that youth’s eyes burned at thine, so went

Thy spell through him, and left his straight neck bent

And round his heart one strangling golden hair.

– Dante Gabriel Rossetti

 

I looked at a woman now the way I looked at a book. The end had come. So what? Everything must have an end.

– Knut Hamsun

 

She’s gone but the joke’s the same.

– The Psychedelic Furs

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Trifecta

Crime Beat: Another Great Alibi

from Ann Arbor Police Reports

Two housemates returned and saw the thief near another home, so they called 911 and followed him until officers found him sitting on a ledge near the Frieze Building. The man had two metal allen wrenches, a watch, a ring, two flasks, a digital memory stick, iPod arm band, cell phone, keys and cigars in his pockets. The man claimed someone walking down the street gave him the items, reports said.

 

 

from

A Wild Duck by Henrik Ibsen

Gina.

Men are strange beings; they must always have something to pervert themselves with.

Hjalmar (snappishly).

Just so; we must always have something to divert ourselves with.

Gina.

Yes, that’s just what I say.

Hjalmar.

H’m.

 

 

I Saw Her Again Last Night: A Dream Fragment

I’m at Heinz field watching a game – the Steelers versus the Bears, but Pittsburgh’s way ahead so I leave and walk around outside by the river and Virginia rides by on a white horse. I don’t hesitate for a second but run right up to her, Virginia, hey Virginia! Even after all this time she recognizes me right away. UBU! I can’t believe it! she says, getting off the horse. You look exactly the same.

So do you, I say, You’re still so beautiful.

She laughs. You know I always used to think about you – I got a really good grade in my mythology course – I knew all the goddesses’ names because you were always comparing me to them.

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Thunder Perfect Mind

from

Thunder Perfect Mind

 

For I am the first and the last.

I am the honored one and the scorned one.

I am the whore and the holy one.

I am the wife and the virgin.

I am the barren one and many are my sons.

I am the silence that is incomprehensible.

I am the utterance of my name.

 

– Gnostic Text

 

"Do you believe in an eternal life in a world to come?"

"No, but I do believe in an eternal life in the here and now. There are moments when time suddenly stands still, and gives place to eternity."

 

– Fyodor Dostoevsky

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Voice Recognition Screed

Library built she’s already in it, milk spilt she’s already cried and it, and in it. The dawn as come, but she’s already cracked it, the morning aborning in the budding and the scudding, a flock of running nylon passing around like a flock of multi-colored birds. 80 yay the way the sway a on the Quay would play a booth at the Sands over the Sands the shadow branch fielders jellyfish in the puddle sunlight gleamed grain of sand be CNB Sandee Gray Gray Couric grit!

A cosmic imperfection of intention seeking your attention through intervention and in conversation with invention we find perfection. The possibility of the instance of the instant, a monument of the moment, this specific of the infinite is all expressed in the point of the total toe of her boot. Or perhaps the espadrilles held together at the back by a single copper safety pin. But now so inevitably passed, so irrevocably gassed, gone from first to last, faded like the sun through your hair.

Order to find it at night, a light column, leading me from the trees to the hole by the pole, leading me to the beings that infest the upper air, the patterns of light that speak so ponderously and lead us either to infinity or to utter nonsense. If they exist within our imagination, isn’t that the same as saying they exist in some place of luminous rest beyond the skies? If a voice speaks to us can’t we say that it is us speaking as much as some disembodied entity which being disembodied is as easily a trickster as a god. It’s strange though, isn’t it, how the nonsensical words of the trickster almost inevitably after certain period of time begin to reflect our concerns, how the human mind seems to bend chaotic mutterings into meaning and debase meaning into meaningless rote.

But, fortunately we now have modern technology to add static to the already blunt instrument of language. As much as it helps us to communicate faster, broader, and less personally it also adds a level of chaotic, jumbled static to the crowded verbiage which infests all levels of personal expression. Already, more people write poetry than read it, and soon it seems to me that a precondition for anyone reading what you have written will be for you to read what they have written. Similarly, for them to pretend that they like what you’ve written, or that it has any worth, depends on you pretending to like and approve up what they have written.

It’s the same way that you’re not supposed to understand the contemporary work of art without a plaque on the wall. It’s not even a medium or a message, it’s just a commodity and not even a commodity to be sold as a commodity to advance the career of a so-called artist. It’s sad that in such an era of blossoming technological possibilities that the idea of content seems to have disappeared. No one seems to care that the words of the latest Justin Timberlake CD are banal and hackneyed, as long as the beats he’s purchased are acceptable. In a way the "Artist" himself serves merely as an attractive brand-name for the packaging and as a spokesman for the product. In the 21st century the ideas that have infused romanticism like originality, profound meaning, authenticity and the genius of the individual creator had become obsolete.

The reasons for this are no doubt manifold, and at the present time not entirely clear to us, but what is clear is that serious art is as academic today as it was at any time in the 19th century. The smothering baby boom generation has appropriated comfortable spaces for themselves in the universities and made a textbook of creativity and spontaneity. As the Situationists and the punk rockers proclaimed corporate culture has overwhelmed all resistance, save for the atavistic religious believers of the Middle East, and one lesson the thinking opposition has learned is not to throw one’s lot in with anti-humanists, even if they are the enemy of your enemy. The Internet and the third mind as presently constituted by the merger of human consciousness and that of the computer has, at the moment produced little but hucksterism and pornography.

This human consciousness is not so easily reduced, there are deep currents to it, and we have to believe that we will not return so easily to the millions of years that human beings lived without symbolic consciousness. You can rest assured that grave scientists such as Ubu will continue to work without renumeration, without recognition, and under the most difficult of circumstances in order to continue the project begun by the first artist caveman in the depths of the first dark cave canvas.

The preceding was written with the assistance of Dragon NaturallySpeaking voice-recognition software.

Your pal,

boo-boo boo-boo boo-boo UPU you be you UPU UPU boo-boo

Ubu

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The Word Orgasm in the Title: Quote Bag

The Word Orgasm in the Title

 

It may, therefore, be a subject worthy of curiosity to inquire what is the nature of that evidence which assures us of any real existence and matter of fact, beyond the present testimony of our senses, or the records of our memory.

– David Hume

 

The Republic of Fat Women

 

"You remind me of a story by Henry James."

"What story by Henry James?"

"I don’t know. I never read Henry James, but isn’t that the kind of thing he wrote?"

– Frank O’Hara

 

Big Deal Baby, I Still Feel Like Hell

 

He who is earnest and meditative obtains ample joy.

– The Dhammapada

 

Administration & Petty Vices

 

Day in, day out

I hunger and

I struggle

– Sappho

 

Renegades of the Atomic Age

 

I feel like I’ve been eaten by a bear and crapped over a cliff.

– Doug Allyn

 

Americans United By Love

 

I know it was a big joke, whatever it was all about.

– Bob Dylan

 

Mysterious Cults of the Megalith Builders

 

When one thought arises, another follows. When the first thought springs from enightenment all subsequent thoughts are true. Through delusion one makes everything untrue. Delusion is not caused by objectivity, it is the result of subjectivity. Hold the nose ring tight and do not allow a doubt.

– Kakvan

At the Very Limit of the Understandable

 

Throw off this ignoble discouragement, and arise like a fire that burns all before it.

– Bhagavad Gita

 

Might be Suitable for the Uninitiated

 

But all living art will be irrational, primitive and complex; it will speak a secret language and leave behind documents not of edification but of paradox.

– Hugo Ball

 

How to Philosophize With a Hammer

 

Never mind the ridicule,

Never mind the defeat;

Up again, old heart!

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

The Spirit Smashes Fortresses

 

Consciousness is the agent, not the age.

– R. P. Blackmur

 

Don’t Synthesize the PlastiKulture

 

I firmly believe that not only too much consciousness, but any sort of consciousness is a disease. Hence it follows that as a result of that intensified consciousness you are quite right in being a blackguard.

– Fyodor Dostoevsky

 

Don’t Arm the Vulture

 

It was the marriage of the voices of nature and the soul – the dawn of a mystic creation.

– Dante Gabriel Rossetti

 

A Work of Considerable Beauty and Power

.

Whatever was not unity; whatever was irregular, exceptional, outlawed; and this was the whole human race.

– Henry Adams

 

An Intellectual Adventure of the Highest Order

 

The Holy Mother and Child greeted me with a gentle smile. The figure on the cross, incomprehensible as always, left me cold.

– August Strindberg

 

The American Institute of Change

 

If people of inferior intelligence hear of the Tao, they laugh immediately. It would not be the Tao unless they laughed at it.

– Lao Tse

 

Elvis Died Today

 

I began to realize that I had transcended the conceptual framework of the existing human character structure and, with it, our civilization during the past five thousand years.

 

I must reject another criticism, namely that I unnecessarily provoked the public by the word "orgasm" in the title of a book. There is no reason whatever of being ashamed of this function. Those who are squeamish about it need not read further.

– Wilhelm Reich

 

Coming Attraction:

Morgone Orgone in H-Bomb Love Commandos Over Germany (not yet rated)

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the Annals of the criminal mind

Sydney’s primary revelation was that a flying saucer would soon arrive to collect passengers good enough to live with the people of Enoch, whose city had been relocated on the North Star. Sydney told Alma that they’d have to get a deep sun-tan for the Enoch excursion, or get burned en route. The family was on the roof, naked, praying that God would send the flying saucer before they were arrested.

from Prophet of Blood by Ben Bradlee, Jr. And Dale Van Atta

 

Officers found two men in the area who matched the description of the robbers, and they claimed they were out looking for a lost ring for a friend whose name they did not know. They were carrying a flashlight and had blood on their legs.

from

Ann Arbor Police Reports

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The Ice Museum by Joanna Kavenna

The Ice Museum: In Search of the Lost Land of Thule by Joanna Kavenna (Viking Press, hardback, $24.95)

Thule, like Atlantis or Shangri-la, is one of those mythic place names that fires human imagination by its mere sound alone. It was first mentioned by the Greek explorer Pytheas in the fourth century B.C., who described a place set in a frozen sea where the sun disappeared into the waters and the land was plunged into darkness all winter long. No one has ever been able to find out exactly what he was talking about, and, given that in the past explorers and writers recognized an elastic distinction between fact and myth, there remains a very distinct possibility that Thule can only be found by use of poetic license. Nonetheless, the image of Thule has persisted, its pure, blank frozen whiteness becoming a tabula rasa for men’s ideas about nature and elemental human society, and The Ice Museum: In Search of the Lost Land of Thule by Joanna Kavenna addresses both the objective possibility of an actual, historical Thule and the subjective visions that have been projected on it’s vast nothingness.

I’ll admit I was resistant to this book at first – I guess I expected a more scholarly, weighty approach, rather than Kavenna’s very personal picaresque – but she won me over quickly with her elegant, lyric prose, her disarming, understated persona, and her expert blending of travel narrative and history of ideas, literature and exploration. She begins by visiting all the places that have been considered possible locations of Thule, the Shetland Islands, Iceland, Norway, Estonia, advancing northward, capturing what she sees as she smoothly explicates what other travelers have said about those places as Thule, and also examining the turbulent history of Arctic exploration at large.

To me, the strongest section of the book is when Kavenna grapples with the most hateful mannifestation of the Thule ideal – its expropriation by the Nazis as pristine mythico-historical homeland where snow white Aryan purity reigned. The Thule Society was one of many esoteric/political organizations that flourished in Europe, and one of the handful that served as an early focus and gathering place for what was to become the Nazi party. As I’ve said in my Knut Hamsun piece (http://radiofreeubu.spaces.live.com/Blog/cns!20644E2D1DEF7917!1283.entry)

this confluence of modernist and fascist elements is as troubling as it is seemingly inevitable, and Kavenna approaches this treacherous territory with the proper measure of fascination and abhorrence.

Is the fascist horror an obvious result of romantic, anti-bourgeois ideas? Certainly it’s in a lot of people’s interest to have you think so, and it’s quite a pervasive, reflexively echoed theme in our current mainstream culture which is in many ways deeply conservative and anti-romantic. In the 9/18 issue of The New Yorker one Ian Buruma, Henry R. Luce Professor at Bard college casually writes of Gunter Grass: "But there is an element of contempt here – toward commercial culture and capitalism – that hints at some of Grass’s earlier [i.e. when he was a member of the Waffen-S.S] attitudes," as if contempt toward materialism is a form of incorrect thinking that inexorable leads to anti-democratic movements. To my mind it’s not that simple – just as the Nazi swastika was oriented in an opposite, sinister way to the traditional rune of India, their ideas were a sinister distortion of the modernist and esoteric conceptions of the time. The idea of "racial purity" is patently absurd and manifestly evil, but it remains a powerful lure to the psychically unsettled, as evidenced in the sudden Republican alarm on immigration and the hysterical ravings of dreadful demagogue mouthpieces like Rush Limbaugh. The racial preoccupation alone was enough to poison the well of Nazi ideology, but it does not reflect on the profound, transcendent springs of German romanticism on which it fed.

Although Kavenna is very astute in her explication of Knut Hamsun’s big botch, his championing of the Germans, her brief precis of his work is the one place where I found The Ice Museum demonstrably off the mark:

He became nostalgic and impatient; he lurched away from the city, writing nothing but rustic romances laced with sentimentality, tales of robust hunting men of few words, clumsy in elegant company, chasing the daughters of the local merchants through the vibrant forests. They lived in huts like mine, they wore big boots, they knew nothing of manners and conventions; they were tormented brutes, aware that society judged them. They were good a whittling wood, and occasionally sheer frustration at their failure to ensnare a local beauty led them to a melodramatic act. One of the rustic hut-dwellers shot himself in the foot one morning because the beautiful daughter of the local businessman wouldn’t talk to him.

It’s hard to believe that Kavenna is old enough to have actually read the books and then forgotten so much about them. Anyone who has looked at Pan, the book she references, knows that it was in fact an early work and that its protagonist/narrator Lieutenant Glahn is no child of the land but, obviously an ex-army officer, which indicates social status, an extremely educated and articulate gentleman who chooses to live in a hut out of love of nature and a rejection of human society. And to say he shoots himself in the foot because Edvarda won’t talk to him is criminal reductionism. Even August the old wandering protagonist of several of Hamsun’s later works, although he does work odd jobs and pine over various beautiful daughters, is not an inarticulate brute, but an drop out from civilization, intent on living a life without ambition. There are a few books like Growth of the Soil which revolve around plain folk without the addition of a neurotic dreamer but they are very few, and Hamsun never loses the complexity of his vision.

I only wish she had at least glanced at Hamsun before she wrote those words, but the "brute’ idea fits so neatly with her arguments about the lure of fascism that she no doubt wanted it to be true. The other sad thing is that so few people are familiar with Hamsun that no editor called her on it before publication and so few people will know that it is utter bunk.

BUT otherwise I enjoyed the book. I worried as I neared the end because, like most picaresques, there’s no natural ending that isn’t an anti-climax. Unlike William Broad’s The Oracle, Kavenna isn’t going to "solve the mystery." But she accomplishes closure elegantly, describing her visit to the island of Svalbard, a place nobody thought was Thule, but which is icy and cold enough to be truly Thulean. Here she finds scientists charting the climate changes which have already meant great changes to the arctic regions and may yet be the end of Thule, if not all of mankind. Of all the myriad mistakes George Bush has made, it’s possible his deriding and denying of global warming may yet prove to be the most egregious, although, god knows there’s no lack of stiff competition. (Maybe the American electorate will think twice about electing another ignorant, immature and inexperienced boob to such high office – but I doubt it).

As the above digressions show, Kavenna is able to give a provocative depth to her breezy travel narrative, and I highly recommend it as an entertaining, informative read – perfect for the coming winter.

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