Crime Beat: The Decline of Western Civilization

2 parents arrested in separate DUIs

A Northville couple ended up in jail, both facing drunken driving charges, after Ypsilanti Police first pulled over the husband, who was driving with his young son in the car, and then arrested the mother when she showed up to pick up the boy.

Officers say they saw the man run a red light at Prospect Road at Clark Road at about 11:20 p.m. Saturday. When they stopped him, they said they gave him a preliminary breath test that registered 0.11. The legal standard for drunk driving is 0.08.

Police said they told the man’s 12-year-old son to call his mother to pick him up.

But when she arrived with her 9-year-old daughter in the car, police said, she also appeared to have been drinking, and registered 0.13 on a breath test.

Both children were turned over to a relative, and the parents held until they sobered up. They were later released pending formal charges.

 

Park bench stolen from outside store

Washtenaw County Sheriff’s deputies are investigating a report of a stolen park bench from an Ypsilanti Township grocery store Sunday evening, officials said.

Deputies responded to the Kroger store at 2010 Whittaker Road at 7:21 p.m. after employees reported a park bench was stolen from the front entrance, said Cmdr. Dave Egeler. Witnesses said a U-Haul-style truck filled with park benches was seen leaving the parking lot.

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Celebrity

So finally, JENNIFER LOPEZ admits that’s she pregnant. Bully for her, but UBU has to cringe at the knowledge that reams of treacly publicity are sure to spew out of the baloney machine about the blessed event. Every time a celebrity manages to reproduce we’re treated to endless blathering about the wonderful uniqueness of life, how it’s changed the celebrity’s soul and tips for the hoi polloi on how to raise their own children. Even a guy like the Czar of the YPSIPANTY has a child and instantly feels the need to transform into a responsible person who now really cares about the future, someone who expresses their extreme love for their child by staying away from home at committee meetings for hours and cultivating an obsessive interest in the Ypsilanti income tax. So you have a kid, J-Lo and Czar. Big deal. I got a kid, you got a kid, we all got a kid – it’s not hard, and a matter of fact a lot of effort and money is spent in NOT having kids. To me making it into a unique life changing event of world import is a form of narcissism – it’s not about your child’s life, it’s about your life. I personally thought it would be a betrayal of my children if I talked about being a parent with every word or changed my personality just because they were born. If I was satisfied with my pre-natal personality, why wouldn’t I want to share it with my progeny?

And hasn’t everybody pretty much let Jenny skate for that awful movie she made with her zombie hubby? Why was there so much more ridicule of her other couple movie with BEN? Even the usually puffed up MADONNA got more grief for her flicks with SEAN and her LIMEY HUSBAND.

The other nauseating result of the blessed news is that now the child itself will no doubt become a celebrity itself – celebrityhood, like so much else in our ossified, nepotistic society is now inherited – and we’re doomed to suffer through the progeny’s teen party years and singing/acting career.

On a sort of other topic, everybody hates BRITNEY SPEARS. Or do they? I mean, certainly enough deluded souls have bought her CD. Explain to me why again. She has no identifiable talent, and is, by all accounts, an conceited, sluttish, common, stupid piece of trash. She too burbled prettily in countless media outlets about her extreme love for her children and the transformative wonder of motherhood, but has been pretty much been legally exposed as an incompetent and careless parent. She seems to spend most of her lyric "talent" complaining about the very media attention she so relentlessly cultivated and sold her soul to attain. I did listen to about a minute of her GIMME single and found it moronic, if slickly produced, which I guess is the recipe for musical success these days. It’s sad when those sleazeballs THE EAGLES can seem like models of artistic authenticity! Thank goodness for the Alison Krause/Robert Plant CD to prove that there’s still real music out there. It’s a sad commentary on our current culture that girls like BRITNEY and LOHAN lead the kind of lives that most of our youth aspire to, and yet it seems to lead them into a kind of hellish existence. And yet they are always photographed laughing and smiling in their intervals between jail and rehab.

Yeah, and I know what you’re thinking — why break a butterfly on the wheel of UBU’s brilliance. But it seems like celebrity is all there is these days– even the "serious" world is as addicted to baloney as the Pop one. The counterculture has been reduced to commercial poses and the highbrows are so concerned with demonstrating their status that they can’t see past their noses. How can anyone pretend that CHARLES BAXTER, for instance, is some kind of profound writer if they aren’t afraid of being called, in an emperor’s new clothes way, a philistine. But let me tell ya people, there’s no there there, anymore than there is on AMERICAN IDOL.

George Bush has been a an unprecedented disaster for our country, but at least he’s motivated some artists to examine and critique society with a sharpness that’s been lacking for decades. The movie MICHAEL CLAYTON is a brilliant dramatization of the whole materialist, predatory culture of which Bush is the sour fruit – and it has a kickin’ plot too. You could almost say it suggests that you have to be a nutsy obsessive to see through the baloney – UBU raise your hand!!!

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Dear Editor: Creche Keeping

Dear Editor:

The citizens of Parkway are again facing their annual debate as to whether a creche of our blessed Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ and Master of All Nations should be allowed on municipal property or not.

For many generations our town lived in perfect peace and harmony (and I do NOT except those much overblown, propagandized and misunderstood incidents, the alleged "lynching" of 1952 and the so-called "race riot" of 1966) secure in the knowledge that the creche would stand on Chippewa Common next to the Old Hanging Tree in a blessed rectangle of holy space today bordered by City Hall, the Big-Kone Dairy Queen, Dewey’s Dry Cleaner and the Super-Kleen Laundromat. But one black day the forces of the ACLU came thundering into town in their Japanese cars and decided to crucify Our Lord and Savior once again, this time in the guise of an innocent plaster child sacrificed on the altar of political correctness. The secularist atheists who smash fragile innocents at this altar are not aware that the master they in fact serve is none other than the head of the ACLU and Iran, the prince of darkness himself, ignoble Satan.

The secularist delusion that church and state should be separated is now clearly obsolete in the face of the sustained terrorist attacks we have all endured since God’s servant the President and Commander-in-Chief George W. Bush ascended to the presidency bringing all the wrath of the dark one’s minions. Our blessed Founding Fathers, who resemble our President and Commander-in-Chief George W. Bush not a little, meant this country to have as many creches as it could hold, and in fact the recent discovery of a wooden baby head at Valley Forge has led many experts at the Heritage Foundation to conclude that a creche was set up during that, our nation’s bleakest Christmas.

The ACLU Blitzkrieg would no doubt then, had they existed, have ridden into town on their asses, torn apart this scene of our Savior and His Holy Blessed Family, and probably even ripped out the wooden teeth of George Washington which are known by the knowledgeable scholar to have been incised with the 10 Commandments and other inspirational Christian writings so that they might infuse his every word.

A country like ours, although there is no other country like ours because we are alone significantly chosen by God to obey His Rules and impose our way of life on His Universal Dominions, is under the onslaught of a diabolical enemy whose only desire is to destroy American culture and traditions. We don’t have time to quibble about the Constitution or "Civil Liberties" when we are in the middle of a desperate struggle for our very way of life by invaders who have already reached the shores of Iraq. If we must, in order to defend our freedom, suspend the Constitution and the rights of those anti-Christians who openly side with our enemy in this millennial conflict, then as our President and Commander-in-Chief George W. Bush says, "Mission Accomplished." Let the torture continue. This is about saving our country from the collectivists.

It is deeply ironic to me, and I would laugh if I could laugh from between the teeth which are still gritted in the face of the enemy, that I have just witnessed a parade of impressionable young children going to our schools and roaming our neighborhoods permitted, nay encouraged, to dress up as the most horrifying and sacrilegious specters of Satanhood on the pagan traditional day of human sacrifice of men and souls known as "Halloween." And then they are supposed to be given a "treat" of expensive and cavity inducing candy for traipsing about in the guise of the unholy! And I am called a "weird grouchy old man" for refusing to give these freeloaders a hand out and instead furnishing a piece of my mind! Where was the ACLU to defend my freedom of speech when their parents were calling me such vile names? And yet we God-fearing Christians who worship His Holy Name and are devoted sons of His Hand Picked Country created in His Own Image are not permitted to see the image of our blessed Savior’s Nativity represented by a delightful plaster simulacrum! No wonder the Satanic infidels are at our very door and their car bomb suicide hearses are being driven by the ACLU!

Walter C. Adhadeck

Franklinton

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Scythians

Scythians

 

In a skin tent

Covered with furs

She’s been abducted by Scythians

To be their deity and

Is quite pleased with the situation

She says I can visit her but

When I return to my world

It will be a hundred years later

And everyone I know will be dead

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Quote Bag: A Dangerous Degenerate of the Ha-Cha Generation

Like scenes of horror reeled through a jerky projector the mad orgy staggered to its awful end.

They brought an alienist to examine me and he said that I was not insane but that I was probably a dangerous degenerate.

– John H. Knox

 

Why has the ha-cha generation of blue bloods joined the brownstone tradition? Can it be that behind those venerable portals there is a stimulus for those jaded appetites, a pleasure so exhaustive that its ending leaves nothing but self-loathing and desire for death?

– Edith and Ejler Jacobson

 

The first light of the morning shone full upon the portrait, and, as I lay awake, my eyes continued to dwell upon it with growing complacency; its beauty crept about my heart insidiously, silencing my scruples one after another; and while I knew that to love such a woman was to sign and seal one’s own sentence of degeneration, I still knew that, if she were alive, I should love her.

The pale saint of my dreams had vanished for ever; and in her place I beheld this maiden on whom God had lavished the richest colors and the most exuberant energies of life, whom He had made active as a deer, slender as a reed, and in whose great eyes He had lighted the torches of the soul.

I drew near her as the giddy man drawn near the margin of a gulf.

– Robert Louis Stevenson

 

Barbara at this time was a good and pretty girl, who never spoke ill of any one, and hated other pretty women the very least possible.

– Thomas Hardy

 

Beauty! Why, that woman will be beautiful when she is a skeleton, was the thought that flashed into my mind. She was very tall, and so thin that her skin seemed faintly luminous, as if an inward light pierced the transparent substance. It was the beauty, not of earth, but of triumphant spirit.

– Ellen Glasgow

 

It was kicks and you did it until the kicks stopped.

– Megan Abbott

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KOAN

Q: What is the sound of one hand clapping?

A: A rhetorical question.

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Reunion

Reunion

 

At the reunion

We’re all in the courtyard

Holding our drinks

And then there’s Heather

Standing in front of me

Hey, it’s Heather I say

Heather’s dead

a girl says spitefully

But it doesn’t seem to bother Heather

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Statue

Statue

 

One night the house of the alchemist

Burns to the ground and he disappears

 

Only I know about the secret basement

I sneak to the still smoking ruins

Uncover the trap door and go down

 

There’s a brass statue of

A woman in the corner

 

I wrap it in rugs

And have the carter

Haul it to my place

 

Knowing

She will soon come to life

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Waiting For Heather Part Three

Waiting For Heather Part Three (Disequilibrium)

 

Strangely enough, when I heard the sound of a car that night I didn’t jump up thinking maybe it’s her the way I had so many times before. Somehow I just knew, and I even sat there for a moment after the doorbell rang, savoring the certainty that I was finally going to see Heather.

Sorry we’re late, Katie said when I opened the door.

Yeah, we had to wait to hear a wind chime

, Heather said, and they both giggled as they came in, their party evidently having already started.

I invited some people over

. Katie leaned over to put her hand on my arm and kiss me on the cheek. Hope you don’t mind.

Oh, no, that’s good, that’s great

, I said. I wouldn’t want it any other way. If Heather’s here there’s got to be a party, right?

Hi, Charlie.

Heather smiled and wandered past. I was watching her and she knew it, shooting me little sideways glances as she circled the apartment, idly opening books and peering at posters as Katie stayed next to me, beginning another monologue about Bill.

Every time the door bell rang after that Heather answered it, accepting the offerings of wine bottles and six packs as her due, automatically assuming the role of high priestess of the party as it inevitably began to revolve around her.

I just stood there, feeling slightly stunned and disappointed, hardly listening to Katie’s tirade, which was, after all, familiar enough. Even though I’d diligently studied my little trove of pictures of Heather, there were times when I caught sight of her in the quickly smokey and crowded room that I hardly recognized her.

Before her face had always been veiled or at least shadowed by hanging bangs and oversized glasses, but now she had contacts and pulled back hair like all the others, creating too regular a frame for her complex, exotic features. Similarly her once layered and baggy clothes had been pulled tight, clinging to her body and baring her shoulders and arms, the effect disconcerting and unfamiliar, as if she’d been interrupted in an awkward stage of her metamorphosis from rumpled teen to polished lady, like a chrysalis clumsily unfolding or a sword only half drawn, equal parts gleaming steel and cracked leather.

The other girls had matured too, but more seamlessly, posing and preening in every corner of the room, ripe and secure, knowing they’d never be more attractive. Katie was also at her best, her low cut top emphasizing how very buxom she was – at school she’d been a dedicated gymnast until her budding assets had brought disequilibrium to her balance beam routine, not to mention her male classmates.

And yet, despite all that, Heather was the one I couldn’t take my eyes off of – the more I looked at her the more I wanted to look at her. She was just so much more there than anyone else, and she made there the only place I wanted to be.

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The Green Face by Gustav Meyrink

I’m still getting delayed gratification from my recent decadent literature jag – some of the Dedalus books I ordered were out of stock and they’ve been slowly trickling in. One such is Gustav Meyrink’s The Green Face (translated by Mike Mitchell). (As I write that “It’s Not Easy Being Green” by Van Morrison starts on my CD player, which is a little eerie as the novel is full of occult coincidences and synchronicities, and it too could be entitled “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”)

The book is set in post World War One Amsterdam, a ancient city swollen by the dispossessed and dissatisfied of Europe, creating a multi-national melange of refugees, thrill seekers, messianic pretenders, confidence men and simple fruitcakes. There’s the exuberant, almost hysterical energy we associate with the twenties in America, but mixed with an apocalyptic disillusionment – the “war to end all wars” has destroyed a lot of old things and killed a lot of young people, but it hasn’t provided any credible reason for the carnage or alternative to the ruins.

The first few chapters are exceptional – Fortunatus Hauberrisser, a bored, well to do foreigner wanders aimlessly into a strange shop called Childer Green’s Hall of Riddles, chock full of magic tricks, pornography and curios, not to mention a strange cast of characters including Mister Usibepu, the Zulu medicine man, “Professor” Arpad Zitter from Bratislava, Professor of Pneumatism, and Childer Green himself, an ancient Jew with a oddly green face and a strip of cloth obscuring his forehead. Hauberrisser buys a papier-mache skull and beats a baffled retreat, little knowing that his experiences at Childer Green’s are to color his whole life.

He soon discovers that his friends have also had encounters and visions of an elusive green faced man, and after experiences that take him through a dizzying mixture of idealism and corruption in the cabarets and tenements of Amsterdam, he makes his way back to the shop only to find that noone there has heard of Childer Green and that the sign in front says Arpad Zitter’s Hall of Riddles.

Even after Hauberrisser meets his bewitching soul mate Eva and encounters a visionary religious group, the book maintains a winning balance between satire and fantasy, but unfortunately after a shocking series of events, the pace suddenly slackens and the reader is subjected to a string of lightly dramatized philosophical/occult pronouncements which Meyrink seems to want us to take as (literally) gospel. At the end the book redeems itself by switching gears yet again to present a chilling vision of apocalypse, ruin and transcendence.

I guess it’s wrong to criticize a work of art for not being what you wanted it to be, but the first half of The Green Face is so strong and the undigested tracts in the middle (one of which I found printed as esoteric wisdom on a Yoga site on the net) are so lame that I couldn’t help being disappointed to find what could have been a great novel becoming merely a good one. The visionary ending atones somewhat for that let down, and on the whole it’s certainly worth reading. Here’s two extracts, one in the political mode and one in the successfully visionary:

Specters, monstrous yet without form and only discernible through the devastation they wrought, had been called up be faceless and power-hungry bureaucrats in their secret seances and had devoured millions of innocent victims before returning to the sleep from which they had been roused. But there was another phantom, still more horrible, that had long since caught the foul stench of a decaying civilization in its gaping nostrils and now raised its snake wreathed countenance from the abyss where it had lain, to mock humanity with the realization that the juggernaut they had driven for the past four years in the belief it would clear the world for a new generation of free men was a treadmill in which they were trapped for all time.

He clearly recognized the plain, bare walls if his room, and yet at the same time they were the walls of a temple decorated with a fresco of Egyptian deities. He was standing in the middle and both were reality: he saw the wooden floorboards and at the same time they were the stone flagstones of the temple, two worlds that interpenetrated before his very eyes, fused together and yet separate. It was as if he were awake and dreaming in one and the same moment. He touched the whitewashed wall with his hand, could feel its rough surface and yet at the same time knew without mistake that his fingers were stroking a tall, gold statue, which he believed he recognized as the Goddess Isis sitting on a throne.

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