So finally, JENNIFER LOPEZ admits that’s she pregnant. Bully for her, but UBU has to cringe at the knowledge that reams of treacly publicity are sure to spew out of the baloney machine about the blessed event. Every time a celebrity manages to reproduce we’re treated to endless blathering about the wonderful uniqueness of life, how it’s changed the celebrity’s soul and tips for the hoi polloi on how to raise their own children. Even a guy like the Czar of the YPSIPANTY has a child and instantly feels the need to transform into a responsible person who now really cares about the future, someone who expresses their extreme love for their child by staying away from home at committee meetings for hours and cultivating an obsessive interest in the Ypsilanti income tax. So you have a kid, J-Lo and Czar. Big deal. I got a kid, you got a kid, we all got a kid – it’s not hard, and a matter of fact a lot of effort and money is spent in NOT having kids. To me making it into a unique life changing event of world import is a form of narcissism – it’s not about your child’s life, it’s about your life. I personally thought it would be a betrayal of my children if I talked about being a parent with every word or changed my personality just because they were born. If I was satisfied with my pre-natal personality, why wouldn’t I want to share it with my progeny?
And hasn’t everybody pretty much let Jenny skate for that awful movie she made with her zombie hubby? Why was there so much more ridicule of her other couple movie with BEN? Even the usually puffed up MADONNA got more grief for her flicks with SEAN and her LIMEY HUSBAND.
The other nauseating result of the blessed news is that now the child itself will no doubt become a celebrity itself – celebrityhood, like so much else in our ossified, nepotistic society is now inherited – and we’re doomed to suffer through the progeny’s teen party years and singing/acting career.
On a sort of other topic, everybody hates BRITNEY SPEARS. Or do they? I mean, certainly enough deluded souls have bought her CD. Explain to me why again. She has no identifiable talent, and is, by all accounts, an conceited, sluttish, common, stupid piece of trash. She too burbled prettily in countless media outlets about her extreme love for her children and the transformative wonder of motherhood, but has been pretty much been legally exposed as an incompetent and careless parent. She seems to spend most of her lyric "talent" complaining about the very media attention she so relentlessly cultivated and sold her soul to attain. I did listen to about a minute of her GIMME single and found it moronic, if slickly produced, which I guess is the recipe for musical success these days. It’s sad when those sleazeballs THE EAGLES can seem like models of artistic authenticity! Thank goodness for the Alison Krause/Robert Plant CD to prove that there’s still real music out there. It’s a sad commentary on our current culture that girls like BRITNEY and LOHAN lead the kind of lives that most of our youth aspire to, and yet it seems to lead them into a kind of hellish existence. And yet they are always photographed laughing and smiling in their intervals between jail and rehab.
Yeah, and I know what you’re thinking — why break a butterfly on the wheel of UBU’s brilliance. But it seems like celebrity is all there is these days– even the "serious" world is as addicted to baloney as the Pop one. The counterculture has been reduced to commercial poses and the highbrows are so concerned with demonstrating their status that they can’t see past their noses. How can anyone pretend that CHARLES BAXTER, for instance, is some kind of profound writer if they aren’t afraid of being called, in an emperor’s new clothes way, a philistine. But let me tell ya people, there’s no there there, anymore than there is on AMERICAN IDOL.
George Bush has been a an unprecedented disaster for our country, but at least he’s motivated some artists to examine and critique society with a sharpness that’s been lacking for decades. The movie MICHAEL CLAYTON is a brilliant dramatization of the whole materialist, predatory culture of which Bush is the sour fruit – and it has a kickin’ plot too. You could almost say it suggests that you have to be a nutsy obsessive to see through the baloney – UBU raise your hand!!!