Diary of a Madman

The garden court

 

Posing as Dr. Chaos

 

To create something near consciousness

Its meaning stated in its existence

 

The oven Sylvia Plath put her head in

 

A mythic morning with the playmate of your choice

 

The graveyard was almost empty

 

With masks we are a family

That naked we can never be

 

All the eggshells breaking

 

Judy Aloof

 

I knew that god would lead me to your cookies

 

Our endless end

 

The terror of your will

The strength of your terror

 

Stuck in mid-day

 

Meatbird

 

Her earing fell to the floor by my knee

 

February’s frozen valentine

Thawed in months of Mondays

 

Falling in the company of the rain

 

Kill money for cops

 

Point you cannot see through

Wound you can see through

 

Growing edges

 

Rats & Photographs

 

I don’t think we’ll see anything this bright for a long time

 

The sweet smelling Yalie

 

Amount of beauty in the world is constant

 

God as event

 

The beautiful organist’s daughter from New York

Whose Volvo had broken down

 

If you want sanctuary

If you want green for danger

If you run out of NoDoz

 

A long walk for a fat chick

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As seen in the New York Times Book Review!

Hello, America and all my pals around the world!

 

Recently, Marilyn Stasio, the doyenne of mystery fiction who writes a very influential column in the New York Times Book Review mentioned a volume called THEY DIED IN VAIN: Overlooked, Underappreciated and Forgotten Mystery Novels (Crum creek Press, paper, $13) describing it as "a little volume of short essays, written by booksellers, librarians and reviewers, and edited by Jim Huang, extolling the virtues of more than 100 crime novels. The choices are idiosyncratic, which makes them fun, but every title is advanced with an intelligent argument and touching affection."

 

Well, dear reader, UBU was one of those who contributed a essay to said volume, so you could say I’ve finally been reviewed in the NYT book review. (I know that’s a pitiable straw to grasp at, but we all need our little pipe dreams, don’t we Mr. Iceman.)

Anyway I thought I’d do you all the vast service of posting said piece here:

 

The Dogs of Winter by Kem Nunn (1977)

 

As I reread The Dogs of Winter for this review I had to ask myself – is this really a mystery? True, it does feature several violent deaths, a kidnapping, drug trafficking and a murderer whose guilt isn’t established until the final pages, but it is also so unlike the typical novel in the mystery section as to suggest an altogether different realm. Although non-series books regularly win the Edgar award and climb the bestseller lists, ever since Sherlock Holmes the lion’s share of recognition in the genre has gone to the authors who write numerous installments detailing the ongoing adventures of a single protagonist. As the book world becomes more and more ruthlessly businesslike, both chain retailers and conglomerate publishers have pushed the "genrefication" of literature in order to facilitate tidy marketing , and it seems to me that writers like Kem Nunn have been among their victims. If a book called Crime and Punishment or The Secret Agent came out today who can say what shelf the computer operator would route it to?

Not that it matters – no matter where you stick it The Dogs of Winter is a masterpiece and I’m glad to have the opportunity to say it. The book begins with a drugged and dazed Jack Fletcher being awakened by a phone call. A former star surf photographer now on the cusp of middle age, Fletcher’s devotion to the endless summer lifestyle has reduced him to shooting suburban weddings and popping pain pills when he is offered an improbable second chance. Drew Harmon, the reclusive legend of surfing, has insisted that Jack be the photographer when he reveals the secret of the legendary Heart Attacks, "California’s premier mysto wave, the last secret spot."

Jack’s halting progress toward Heart Attacks in the company of Drew and a couple of callow modern surfers is interspersed with the stories of the residents of Sweet Home, the imprecisely named Indian village where Travis McCade of the Northern California Indian Development Council tries to keep the peace, and Kendra Harmon, Drew’s wife, struggles to maintain her delicate mental equilibrium in the face of the growing certainty that her husband is guilty of murder.

Soon enough Jack’s bumbling and Drew’s arrogance cause the death of a young Indian boy, and his criminal kin, the "crankster gangsters," arrive to seek vengeance, first against Kendra and then the surfers. The plot threads all meet in the classic American setting of the wilderness, "the end of things" where nature is both beautiful and deadly and human nature both heroic and vicious beyond measure, a place where both extinction and rebirth are possible.

Nunn’s prose is beautiful, and he shows himself to be the rare master stylist who has the ability to maintain page turning suspense while still engaging higher themes. When this book first came out I wrote that "The Dogs of Winter is his triumph and our treasure, a mature, ambitious, highly readable masterpiece," and since I get the same chills up my spine at the conclusion every time I read it, I can only say that time has more than confirmed my opinion.

 

Not bad, huh? A little too much editorializing in the beginning, but I was really on my soap box about the evils of book chains in those days. I still know them to be satanic but have since realized that nobody cares.

Except me, yr pal,

UBU

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Annals of Crime

 

St. Peters, Mo.
Dead Pup Used As Weapon
 
A woman angry that her new puppy has died pushed her way into a dog breeder’s home and repeatedly hit her in the head with the dead Chihuahua, authorities said Thursday.
 
The 33-year-old woman told police ahe had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy, it died.
 
Early Wednesday, the woman went to the breeder’s home, where she hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, police said.
 
Police said they are considering felony burglary and misdemeanor assault charges.
 
 
 

Ann Arbor, MI

Police take man on drugs to hospital

 

Police said a 23-year-old Livonia man was so high on a mixture of drugs and alcohol that he believed he was floating down the Manistee River in a canoe when officers approached him at a park in the city.

 

Officers were called to the playground at Lakewood Elementary School after the man pulled his vehicle onto the grass and approached a woman and her three children, talking nonsense to them.

 

Another woman at a home in the neighborhood said the same man began speaking to her small children, telling them of a dream involving child molestation.

 

As officers were speaking to the man, he accused them of overturning his canoe on the Manistee river and believed he was in Hudson.

 

He appeared surprised to learn he was in Ann Arbor and had a hard time following the conversation.


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Quotebag: Professor Chan Fu Speaks

Professor Chan Fu Speaks

 

Style is like a second cousin to class. Style is loving yourself until everyone else does too.

– Prince

 

I told myself that this slim personage in a white frock who wore stockings that matched her bare arms was a phenomenon of extreme rarity, and probably I was right.

– Edgar Jepson

 

Perhaps this was the greatest moment of his life – perhaps he had accidentally encountered the one woman in the whole of Paris with whom he could realize his own desire to escape from the boredom of conventional society.

– Anne-Marie Villefrance

 

An animal that had escaped from a nocturnal world: you sensed the presence of dark thoughts, night thoughts, under her blond hair.

– Sebastien Japrisot

 

She was unreal, alien; yet she belonged and he was the alien. She was Fiesta; something deep and strong and old under the tawdry trappings.

– Dorothy Hughes

 

I have often heard men say that when persons gifted with mesmeric power looked at them they felt as if they had no backs to their heads. In this case I can only say that I not only felt as if I had no back to my head, but as if I had no head at all.

– Guy Boothby

 

For the lifting up of mine eyes to behold a woman have I been harried these many years, and my life has been troubled forever.

– Theophile Gautier

 

God must have been angry with you the day He first let you look into that woman’s face.

– Cornell Woolrich

 

“I came along –” Ann went on, blowing smoke at him. “I came along to confuse you.”

– Geoffrey Homes

 

She was starting to like me, so I couldn’t bring myself to tell her she was nuts.

– James Ellroy

 

You have something of that art or guile – call it what you will – which passes from you through a man’s blood to his brain, and carries him indeed to Heaven – but carries him there mad.

– E. Phillips Oppenheim

 

What the hell, I’m only human, you know. Before we know it, we’re a couple of swinging cats and all sensible logic is left behind.

– Paul V. Russo

 

The rest of it was a nightmare until the Doctor came.

– Charlotte Armstrong

 

All the nutty people have a good time if they don’t get fresh and obstreperous. That’s the Doctor’s way.

– Edgar Wallace

 

In American culture, all universal sources of pleasure are eventually medicalized , then politicized and finally policed (if not prohibited): witness alcohol, tobacco, cannabis, fat, pornography, masturbation, perfume.

– Richard Klein

 

A place where a picture of Christ gazing skyward at an angel might hang on one wall and the eyeless face of a female corpse on the other.

 

– Harold Schechter

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Book review: Skin River by Steven Sidor

Skin River Steven Sidor (St. Martin’s Minotaur paperback $6.99)

When Steve Hamilton talks, people listen. He always goes out of his way to support other worthy writers and after his signings there’s always a rush to pick up the books he’s mentioned. He usually likes authors like Denise Mina whose work is a little darker than his (though, believe me, I’ve read the forthcoming Alex McKnight and it is plenty dark), but I’m no different than the crowd – when he touted a guy named Steven Sidor in a recent interview I had to seek Sidor out, and I’m glad I did.

Skin River, Sidor’s first book, features Buddy Bayes, a protagonist who, like many created by the new wave of guy writers like Hamilton, Jon King and Craig Johnson, is a middle aged man with a problematic past who, mostly by choice, finds himself isolated and alone in the middle of nowhere, in Buddy’s case the past being criminal and the nowhere rural Wisconsin. When he discovers a severed hand in the Skin River he is drawn into the horrors surrounding a local serial killer who calls himself the Goatskinner. It becomes even more personal when the Goatskinner goes after one of the few people close to Buddy and the clueless sheriff becomes convinced Buddy is the culprit.

It’s not a perfect effort – there’s too much focus on the not quite credible and very icky villain (Hannibal Lecter has a lot to answer for) and Sidor, though his prose is lyrical and smooth, tends to over-describe at times (we know how to light a cigarette, thanks), but Skin River draws the reader in masterfully and delivers a great ride all the way to the slam bang ending. There’s not much mystery, but a lot of suspense and action and even a jolt of a coda.

Although Buddy would seem to be an ideal series character who could stand to be developed further, Sidon’s second novel Bone Factory features different protagonists, which, take my advice, is no way to succeed in the mystery game. All in all, though, Sidon is an yet another example of why we should always listen to Steve Hamilton.

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One Way of Looking at a Black-Haired Woman

One Way Of Looking At A Black-Haired Woman

 

 

                       Acutely hot

                       Acutely forgotten

The bank doesn’t even send me statements anymore

As my present love crumples

The air mail letter from her lover in France

And looks sad

                      Triste

He is such a bastard

                      I am such a bastard

We are all such bastards

 

My roommate’s pretending to be asleep

Peering with half opened eye to see

If I’ll steal his drugs again

And the voyeur girls from across the way

Wait breathlessly for me to expose myself

Or commit suicide

                      Triste

I disappoint them

                     I am such a bastard

We are all such bastards

 

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To the Queen of Heaven

To the Queen of Heaven

The Goddess of the Universe

The One who walked in terrible Chaos

And brought life from the Law of Love

 

And out of Chaos brought us in Harmony

And from Chaos she has led us

By the hand

 

Babylon 18-17th century B.C.

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Commercial Anxieties

Commercial Anxieties

 

I’ve been watching play-off basketball lately, (oh, the exquisite torment of being a Pistons fan!) exposing me to far more television commercials, endlessly repeated and demographically focused, than I’m used to. Although commercials are designed to lead the public, they’re also broadly reflective of the national psyche, a sort of fun house mirror where current anxieties can be assuaged by, of course, the proper product. One of the more bizarre yet telling commercial series is the beer company’s "Man Law" ads wherein a circle of mucho macho dudes hash out how true men should act in crucial cases of etiquette concerning beer and "girls." Of course the mere assumption that laws need to be codified on proper masculine conduct reflects a deep anxiety about modern masculinity itself. Presumably these days even the most testosterone driven stud is in a quandary about how to act manly without the aid of "man laws" – long gone the days when a man knew how to act like a man because, well, he was one. (As the philosopher Iggy Pop wrote, "I don’t need no heavy trips, I just do what I want to do.") Somehow manliness is no longer inherent, but must be imposed from above. It all reminds me of the half-men of Dr. Moreau’s island who must constantly bellow out "Are we not men?" and "What is the law?" in order to reinforce their always tenuous humanity.

This anxiety is also reflected in the reactionary party’s (The Republicans in case you didn’t know) crusade to officially and eternally declare gay marriage illegal, immoral and against man law, in order to demonstrate how heterosexual and godly (he made ‘em, but he still hates ‘em) they are. Similar overcompensation can be seen in their leaders’ hyper-masculine posing, Bush’s cowboy bluster and tight flight suit and Cheney’s great white hunter sneer, as well as their mocking of their Democratic betters (you know, like Gore and Kerry, the guys who actually went to Vietnam while George played aviator and Dick made the world safe for young Republicans stateside) as unmanly for exhibiting qualities like intelligence and compassion.

Another issue derided by the ever wrong right has produced an almost subliminal anxiety reflected in several commercials. Both the soft drink commercial where the basketball court becomes a pool and the beer company’s "love train" series feature a bunch of really hot people who are miraculously cooled down. I don’t think I’m reading too much into it to see a fear of global warming at play here. Like Al Gore has been saying if we all get on the love train we just might be able to avert a hellish future, but it’s going to take a lot more than drinking the proper brew or following the macho man laws to do it.

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Quotebag: The Hi-Fli Discotheque

Quotebag: The Hi-Fli Discotheque

 

I cannot pretend that I was attracted by her charms. It was the air of the perverse about her that held my long admiring glances as I passed. There was a stylishness about the urchin-cropped redhead, matching her hint of decadence or depravity.

Pearls of the Orient – Anonymous

 

Marie suggested heights and depths of human experience undreamt of; she held them within her graceful body and the compass of her strange mind – a creature restricted by no philosophy and fettered by no empiric wisdom.

The Death Gong – Jepson

 

Wandering the halls in thigh-high baby dolls, wearing push up bras, clutching Bunky as if it were the Christ child – pleasant when stoned, obstreperous when straight – Karla now presented a far different figure to Sister Josephine.

The incredible thing about Bunky, we would later find out: Karla had given the stuffed bear to Leslie Mahaffy shortly before she killed her.

Invisible Darkness – Stephen Williams

 

The dancers shifted effortlessly into the somewhat more subtle patterns of the Pony.

I can’t stop," she said. She moved. "Let’s make it good. Let’s make it a party."

Girl High – Stacey Clubb

 

Tommy laughed very hard and said something I didn’t catch. It sounded like, "More fun than a barrel. Turn on the squares." It didn’t make any sense to me.

Stab in the Dark – Joe Rayter

 

Until you find your particular groove, you have to keep getting further and further out.

The Wife-Swap Report – J.W. Wells

 

You can’t afford to frolic with these people, you must keep in mind that these people have suffered serious damage to their nervous systems and you mustn’t get them agitated.

Somebody’s Done For – David Goodis

 

Joan herself could not explain her own mixed up emotions that had led her to seduce Helen in the very kitchen where, a few days before, Greta Peterson had initiated Joan into the lesbian legion.

Rubberama – John Astley

 

"I’m hampered," she complained and reached behind her for the zipper of her dress.

Faculty Wife – Joan Ellis

 

With a few deft maneuvers, she managed to scissor hold her muscle boy spankee.

Lady Butler – Robert Nelson

 

"I’m going to hate to kill you, Johnny, because you were a good sex companion, but orders are to kill you and Jack." The little bitch gave me a cold blooded look and I knew she meant business. She was a dedicated Communist – no doubt about it.

A Bed Is Not For Sleeping – Meryl Core

 

Her briefs and panty-hose were already covering the lower portion of her exquisite body. He knew he was losing a rare, rare gem.

The Sexy Blackmailer – Rod Stagg

 

For just as the "Infinite Soul" had been expounded as a dream by Charlie to unite the Family, it nonetheless stemmed from the harsh fortune that had hounded him since the day he was born – finally to come into being as a full blown "vision" through the dealing out of death – of wanton, mechanical murder.

The Garbage People – John Gilmore

 

I shall never know what Old Bob found in the head of the troglodytes.

Perfume of the Lady in Black – Gaston Leroux

 

"And yet," he said, "it is not a true end, or rather, it is like all the ends of human inquiry, it leads to a great mystery."

The Terror – Arthur Machen

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Coming Rain

Coming Rain


A sudden slit of lightning
Echoes through the sky, dyeing
Violet darkness grey
As a last clear circle narrows
Erased by the rim of the clouds

In this light you’re just
A cipher at the edge of the woods
One hand over the dog
As if to anchor yourself
In the wind

I know I should wonder
Why we’re the only two out here
Why we need this moment
After everyone else
Has run away

The storm so close to breaking
We can hear its shell crack
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