Paycheck Uncashed

O.K. – to set the scene – my long Christmas travail was coming to an end…it was the end of the day and business was trailing off…I was too tired to write or read so I decided to watch a movie on my laptop, something I do very rarely. There’s a few DVD’s at the store, some I bought for a pittance from a couple of black youth who had probably ripped them off and a few more from a customer named Steve Press, who has since moved away. (Hi, Steve, if you google yourself). Steve’s big hobby in life is his noir movie list, which he wants to be a comprehensive list of noir movies, using his own subjective definition of noir. The creation and maintenance of this list necessitates the viewing of lots of movies to see if they belong on the list or not, and once he’s seen them he’s done with them, because he doesn’t want to collect every noir movie, he just wants to know if he’s missing something on the list. After he was done watching some obscure movie he’d quite often bring them in to me for credit so he could get a book about film noir. I’ve sold a lot of his movies over time (many to modern day master noirist author Loren D. Estleman, who does want to own every noir movie, but has a much more restrictive definition of them than Steve), but there are still a dozen of them on my shelf, only a few of them DVD’s.

As I looked over the selection last night I wasn’t too bowled over – Ocean’s Eleven, Oceans Twelve, Training Day (which I’ve seen) – but then one caught my eye, something called Paycheck. Initially it was the name Uma Thurman that made me give it a second look – I worship her and had just watched Kill Bill 1 & 2. But then I saw that it was directed by John Woo and adapted from a short story by Philip K. Dick. It even had Paul Giamatti in it! If I overlooked Ben Affleck, it sounded intriguing, and started out promisingly, with the usual Dickian stuff about wiping memory, losing time, etc. Then there was the part that blew my mind…

Affleck’s just woken up after having his memory wiped and looks up at the calender. The date? Friday December 22, which of course was the day and date that I was watching it…my wife wasn’t very impressed by that coincidence, yeah, so what?, but come on, O.K., it’s kind of fantastic that it would show December 22 the very day that I finally watched the movie – there’s a one in three hundred and sixty-five chance of that, but to have it be Friday December 22? Adding in the fact that I watch a movie at work maybe twice a year, what are the odds of that? Friday December 22 is a combination that only comes around every seven years, and one that you I have to wonder how the film makers came up with, seeing how the movie was made in 2003. And we’re talking about Philip K. Dick here, people, the guy who is the master of the paranoid, of small coincidences which prove to be of cosmic significance, and that the movie itself was about seeing into the future, and the future intruding itself into the past.

Well, then I had to watch the whole thing, of course, to see what the cosmic message was. I could only watch a few ten minute installments at work, because in my store, as we all know, the customer comes first, and I had to take it home to finish it off. And naturally, as always happens when things hint at forming a larger meaning…nothing emerged. After the kicky beginning, the rest of the film was pretty lame. It reminded me of Total Recall more than anything (only not so offensive), a moody, thoughtful, dark Dick concept blown up into a noisy, silly technicolor action flick with mile wide plot holes. Even Uma wasn’t that great in a perky ingenue role. When Paul Giamatti can’t make any headway against the lame dialogue, you know it’s going to be another painful Ben Affleck performance, and the John Woo action sequences seemed like parodies of John Woo action sequences. The great mysteries involved were why Woo’s once promising Hollywood career has fizzled out, and why Uma looked unusually ungoddess-like – was this the time of her personal problems with that idiot Ethan Hawke? – and the like. The big philosophical message was that if we could see into the future it probably wouldn’t be a good thing because then we couldn’t cling to the consolation of free will – but, boy, wouldn’t be nice to buy yourself a winning lottery ticket. Ah, I guess the cosmic revelations will have to wait for, well, the future…

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A Mused (Part Three)

A Mused (Part Three)

It was interesting to me to realize that the following quote from La Belle Dame sans Merci and the Aesthetics of Romanticism by Barbara Fass, a volume of literary criticism, could just as easily have come from Supernatural: Meetings with the Ancient Teachers of Mankind by Graham Hancock, a book classified by my book distributor as "new age" or, even more intriguingly, "controversial knowledge."

That they require this human presence in their realm betrays its inadequacy. The point about the fairies’ longing, while not a critical commonplace , has been made before and, indeed, provides a useful consideration for all stories involving the union between mortals and supernatural creatures.

In Supernatural Hancock draws a parallel between the folklore of fairy contact with humans, the shamanistic journey through the aether toward cosmic powers and contemporary alien abduction experiences. He fittingly finds the inspiration for the first known artists, the prehistoric cave painters, to come from the quest for knowledge in other dimensions, in much the same way that Fass presents the Romantic poets seeking inspiration in otherworldly muses.

But clearly, as both writers point out, there are problems in the alien sphere of Venusberg. Be they extraterrestrials or exiled gods, the denizens of this immaculate land of perfection, of pure sensation and no contradiction, where the laws of physics have no sway and time has been defeated, seem to need us. They want our stuff, the stuff that makes us human, our meat, our emotions, our sweat and jizz and even our very souls. As both Fass and Hancock note, the supernaturals seem to want us for amatory or breeding purposes, to combine with us in some sort of germinative effort. But somehow this effort cannot bear fruit in the other realm – for all its glories, it is sterile, incapable of generating, or perhaps sustaining, new life. So the fairies switch their babies with ours when the goblin spawn prove misshapen and moonstruck, and the aliens implant earth women when the fetuses in the incubators on the mother ship never turn out quite right.

(For me an analogy for this "other" realm, which may very well be one of the multiple dimensions that physicists now believe surround our own, would be the virtual world. Everything’s under control in video games, which seem "realer" every year, and within time and death exist in a radically different way, and it’s all about pleasure. The women are all beautiful and stacked, and you can be whatever you desire, a sports star, a knight, a super hero, and score, kill, consume and kiss indefinitely if you know the right moves. But you can never really grow, never create anything that isn’t in the game already, and in the end it’s a universe of no tangible consequence, one that an vanish instantly without a trace if, say, your son saves over your save file. There’s an essay in one of the Apocalypse Culture books that postulates that the traditional folkloric entities are trying to manifest themselves within video games and the internet, and I tell you, playing some of these games late at night and "inspired" I’ve felt that that might just be the case.)

Similarly, the Romantic artists seeks to produce poetry by escaping nominal reality and rising above, like a shaman, to fuse with the eternal. But, as pleasant as the higher realms are, he must return to earth to set his vision down. I had a roommate in college who had a mental breakdown senior year. Naturally, he talked a lot of nonsense, but he did have one rap that’s always stayed with me. He desperately wanted to be a writer, but realized that his mental problems were preventing him despite the inspiration he felt. He explained his dilemma this way – the ink you need to create with is in the freezer and you have to go inside to get it, but within the freezer the ink is frozen and useless. It’s not until you’ve gotten yourself back out of the freezer and given the ink a chance to thaw that you can actually write with it. This guy could never quite get himself out of the freezer, and the poetry he wrote that seemed to him to be so profound was just gibberish to everybody else. (The Army, however, was later able to find a place for him pruning trees along the DMZ in Korea, the perfect job for a crazy man if there ever was one.) Fass cites Nerval in her book as the rare writer who was able to make the trip to the fairyland of madness and return to our world with something comprehensible, although the contradiction between the two worlds ultimately proved enough to kill him.

Similarly Yeat’s Tannhauser figure, Oisin, has his harp broken in fairyland and, as Fass says, "in fairyland, the warrior is inactive; and more important, the poet is silenced." The supernatural, then, lacks something, something that makes it reach out to the human world, and in fact, in honor of the season, can’t it be said that God needed Mary in order to produce Jesus as much as Mary needed him?

(With that cliffhanger Part Three comes to an end. Stay tuned for Part IV, the best A Mused yet!)

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The Church of the Redeemer

The Church of the Redeemer

 

She smiles history

Changed now in the

Soft age of her eyes

 

Robed silent she sits

Above all the families

God eyed children

And veiled mothers

Correct in their pews

 

A few fathers

Their faces shadowed

With failing businesses

And absent sons

 

Their hopeless strength

Supports this place

Sure as any wall

 

I stand in the nave

Her smile my future

The small grace

Of husband, father, failure

 

Outside she meets my eyes

Through the back window

As the cars pull away

In an unsteady line

 

A hard, banal beauty

The one I am to know

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A Mused (Part Two)

A Mused (Part Two)

The principle subject of La Belle Dame sans Merci by Barbara Fass is an examination of the titular figure, who must be, like the Femme Fatale, both seductive and dangerous, but, even more, to be unambiguously supernatural and to reside in a supernatural place. As I got into the book I realized how it unexpectedly dovetailed with another book I’ve written about, Graham Hancock’s Supernatural, whose middle section is about the same fairy lore that inspired the Romantic writers Fass treats. Obviously Keats’s poem La Belle Dame sans Merci is a touchstone reference, but so is the Tannhauser legend so beloved of the German Romantics.

With the defeat of paganism at the hands of Christianity, the old gods were driven out and demonized, exiled to another realm, one that reflects the Hellenistic ideals of sybaritism and epicureanism, a place where the strict commandments and judgements of the Judeo/Christian world have no sway. In the Tannhauser myth Venus is the mistress of this dimension, a voluptuary who lives only for sensual pleasure, and who presents such an image of supernatural loveliness that no mere mortal can resist her. (Interestingly, the Barbara Aho net screed I referred to in part one of this essay is haunted by the same scenario which she typically interprets as seduction by Satan).

But there’s a flaw in this sphere – even unrelieved pleasure and beauty can lose their meaning without the bracing contrast of pain and ugliness. Inevitably the smitten hero longs for the contradictory, ended joy of our own world, but the problem is that once he returns to it he finds that neither he nor the world is the same. As we know from the story of Rip Van Winkle, time is experienced differently in Venusberg, and what seems to be an instant there can prove to be decades here. Even though the hero does not feel at home in the unearthly real, once he’s been there he can never feel entirely at home in the earthly realm either.

Thus the knight of Keats’s poem describes his seduction by the belle dame:

And there she lulled me asleep,

And there I dream’d – ah! woe betide!

The latest dream I ever dream’d

On the cold hill’s side.

Then his own subsequent alienation from the world:

And this is why I sojourn here,

Alone and palely loitering,

Though the sedge is wither’d from the lake,

And no birds sing.

Fass sees the Romantic fascination with the belle dame as reflecting their own contradictory feelings about their artistic vocation, their muse. On one hand, the Romantic nature is drawn to beauty, but it is also drawn to freedom, and poets like Shelley, Keats, and even the later Swinburne felt the pull of the neo-classical idea that literature should be for the moral improvement of mankind, and feared their muse was drawing them into airy, inconsequential realms and away from the crucial political and social conflicts that rocked that age of revolution and democratic awakening.

Although the Romantics were sympathetic to the rising masses, the corresponding decline of royal and aristocratic patronage endangered their livelihood, and the very egalitarianism that they supported seemed to threaten their place in society. As Fass Points out, the imaginative journey to Venusberg was both a pilgrimage to beauty and a flight from an increasingly banal, utilitarian world.

As she says: What artists felt was not so much a longing for the social realm as a rejection by it.

 

(Stay tuned for part three of this exciting essay! Coming soon to a radiofreeubu near you!)

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Christmas Spirit

The Spirit of Christmas

I totally believe in the spirit of Christmas – the only problem is that if there is a spirit of Christmas these days it’s an evil one. If you don’t believe me just go on down to your local Target today. Loving, Christmas spirit filled people will try to ram you with their cars, steal your parking space, and deliberately try to run you over as you’re walking – and all that’s just in the parking lot! Inside it’s no better. They’ll ram you with their carts, body check you for the crime of standing in the same aisle and cut in front of you in line, all with the most stressed out, hate filled expressions imaginable. I said "Merry Christmas" to everyone who was rude to me there and ended up saying it twenty times. Instead of a happy, loving time our culture has created another anxious, competitive gauntlet. A parent’s love is measured by their ability to find scarce items, and a spouses by their willingness to go into debt by splurging on useless ones. As usual in our materialistic society the only way we can express love is by spending money.

From a merchant’s perspective, it’s no better. When I was a mere clerk in a once great bookshop that has since chained itself to the dark side, we knew we’d be in for a month of backbreaking work, but also we knew it would end soon enough and (most of us) pitched in together and it was sort of exhilarating, if exhausting. Now that I’m higher up in the chain I see how anxiety producing it is for business as well as the consumer. Many businesses break even the rest of the year and absolutely rely on the Christmas season to make a profit. After Thanksgiving you expect, even need to be busy all the time, and if you’re not you’re tearing out your hair, which doesn’t make for great holiday cheer. That’s the reason the facile suggestions of ignorant pundits like, say, Susan Ager of the Detroit Free Press, who want us all to stop buying stuff and just give each other handwritten notes or handmade ass scratchers are so full of crap. I love it when someone like her rails against the commercialization of Christmas in the newspaper next to the full page holiday ads and full color inserts that pay her salary. Yeah, lets just call a halt to it and you can go back on unemployment like you deserve, Sue. That’s what’s great about what I do – being a merchant at street level gives me a much clearer view of reality that the college professors and newspaper writers who are so shameless in parading their pie in the sky opinions. I can’t let theory get in the way of practice – it’s not a question of interpretation, it’s a question of dollars, and I can tell you that if cultural commissars like Ager and the vegan bloggers out there had their way and the holiday madness stopped overnight there would be a Black Friday to rival that of 1929.

For me the answer is, well, a return to love. People are so scheduled and regimented these days that they seem to need to be reminded and culturally coerced to buy something for a loved one at a pre-approved date. I know it’ll never happen, but couldn’t we just spread the toxic concentration of it out a little and give presents when we find them? It’s all clustered around this "religious" holiday which has so little of the religious about it. I’m no Christian, but I’m in favor of any occasion that promotes peace and goodwill toward men, but those elements have disappeared from Christmas, the same way, judging from the policies of lying, killing and hatred promulgated by that great evangelical avatar George W. Bush, they’ve disappeared from Christianity. Ho ho ho.

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No

No it can’t be she

Who’s hardly here

Who never remembers

How can she be the one

Who remains forever

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Bethany: Part Eight

Bethany: Part Eight

Unlike the denizens of Archie comics, we at Pitt Prep didn’t have a Pop’s Chocklit Shop to go to. What we did have was Friendly’s, just another cookie cutter chain restaurant with laminated menus and other people’s cracker crumbs and straw wrappers littering the edges of the wet trail of an indifferently pushed rag to greet us when we slid into a booth. But in spite of the generic setting, it was conveniently located right up Fox Chapel Road, and many break ups, hook ups, blazing rows and tender reconciliations had occurred on the premises, all under the disapproving gaze of the senior citizens who filled the rest of the seats.

Since it was the conventional hang out, my crowd had never patronized Friendly’s, much preferring that weird little Mexican restaurant in Etna or that sinister Chinese cafeteria in Aspinwall, but after almost four years of dedicated non-conformity it was almost bolder of me to go ahead and do what the most kids did. I thought Bethany would be more comfortable in a familiar setting, and arranged to pick her up after her softball practice at school and take her here, to be seated amidst clumps of curious peers by an indifferent "hostess" who looked about thirteen. I’m sure it was no accident that Bethany’s friends Bets and Pam were there too, acknowledging Bethany with sham surprise, then returning to their giggles and surreptitious glances.

A table bursting with jocks was across from us, noisily engaged in blowing spitballs through straws, giving noogies, and otherwise showing their undying Spartan love for one another. Another jock and jockette faced us, going through the motions of a date much more glumly, sucking on their milkshakes and fingering their fries, occasionally shrugging to each other’s monosyllabic utterances. Even after practice Bethany was typically pulled together, immaculate but casual, without any of the baroque excesses some of her friends brought to the prep style. Her best feature, her long blond hair, was still wet under her headband, but managed to look good anyway, like the tousled mane of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model fresh from the surf.

That was where the similarity ended, however. Unlike, say, Bets, Bethany’s plain face was of a piece with the rest of her, her body being, even now in her teen years, distinctly lackluster, neither especially svelte nor generously endowed, healthy enough, but lacking the elasticity, the apparent ripeness that puts the bloom on the emerging rose, a situation that largely explained the fact that even though she was quite popular she had very few dates.

But part of my recent "enlightenment" was my understanding that I had to get beyond all that, to transcend the sterile beauty of Virginia and the indiscriminate sensuality of Heather to seek within a girl for her soul, her nobility of spirit, the very quality Bethany seemed to embody. I didn’t see her as my ultimate goal any more than she saw me as her own, but I knew that to reach the woman I aspired to I had to learn to appreciate the kind of inner beauty that I was lucky enough to have sitting in front of me, and set out trying to do so.

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Xenophon Kalantiano (God)

Xenophon Kalamatiano (God)

 

"The hope of transcendence is in the romantic re-creation of the self through submersion in the unconscious and the ungovernable."

– John Lahr

 

 

Neon the moon

Maenads in a trance

See Gorgo

Breaking up God

As advertized

Desiccated aunts

In Area 51

Cop a lamp at

Mr. Ramblin’ Dick Bone

The wad of the living God

The sound comes out

The sense you have to impose

A clarifying agent

That has a clear context

And is clearly from a great distance

 

Calling all creeps

Let’s get God out of his shell

Bring the voyeur on stage

Seek the entry of the invisible one

Feed him until he explodes

Pick up the schizophrenic hotline

The chandu can do the power effete

The flock parts

A much pleasanter sight

You’ve acquired

A distorted view

 

The American Rhododendron Society

Presents Bonnie Ion

Wisconsin Sunday

School Teacher

Kneeling in the basement

Pythian or Marian

We smoked God

She stove my senses

Primitive all knowing

She makes french faces

A very deep hole

A bitter distinction

As tall as a city bus

What is that blinking

A few pilgrims

A few Indians

Ready to go

Into the potting shed

 

"This day I am jetting the stuff of far more arrogant republics."

– Walt Whitman

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Quotebag: Found While Waiting and Bathing

Quotebag: Found While Waiting and Bathing

(Dedicated to "Rapid" Oil Change, the United States Postal Service and my bathtub)

 

 

So mirrors will take into themselves

The pure smiling image of girls

As they test the morning, alone –

Or under the gleam of devoted candles.

And into their faces, one by one,

Later, just a reflection falls.

– Ranier Maria Rilke

 

Venus slipped away the dressing gown, and rose before the mirror in a flutter of frilled things. She was adorably tall and slender. Her neck and shoulders were so wonderfully drawn, and the little malicious breasts were full of the irritation of loveliness that can never be entirely comprehended, or ever enjoyed to the utmost.

– Aubrey Beardsley

 

Botticelli’s line is never purely arabesque, but implies in itself the development of the space and the movement of the contained volumes. In this way his vision seizes upon the ideal limits of the time in which the action is supposed to take place and from this arises an impression in his representation of the image as of indefinite duration of the said action, and in this way reality becomes dream and history myth.

– Roberto Salvini

  

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Flesh Pulse

Flesh Pulse (Henry Stahl)

 

Her nude thrusting body

Bobbed into a back bend

                  at the end

That softened the plaster

                 on the ceiling

And at that moment

The police wagon

                 pulled up

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