Quote Bag: From Ancient Egypt

from THE LITERATURE OF ANCIENT EGYPT edited by William Kelly Simpson

 

The mouth of my girl is a lotus bud

Her breasts are mandrake apples

Her arms are vines

Her eyes are fixed like berries

Her brow a snare of willow

And I the wild goose!

              ***

I let you hear my voice lamenting

For my myrrh-anointed beauty

And you were with me there.

               ***

The love of my sister lies on yonder side,

And the river is between us;

A crocodile waits on the sandbank

Yet I’ll go down to the water,

I’ll head into the waves.

               ***

She whose excellence shines, whose body glistens,

Glorious her eyes when she stares,

Sweet her lips when she converses,

She says not a word too much.

High her neck and glistening her nipples,

Of true lapis her hair,

Her arms finer than gold,

Her fingers like lotus flowers unfolding.

Her buttocks droop when her waist is girt,

Her legs reveal her perfection;

Her steps are pleasing when she walks the earth,

She takes my heart in her embrace.

               ***

I praise the Golden Goddess,

I exalt Her Majesty,

I raise high the Lady of Heaven,

I make praise for Hathor,

And chants for my Mistress.

 

 

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Who Put the LIBS in LIBRARIES?

I went into the "public library" to use the washroom and meet some new friends, and let me tell you people, what I saw there MADE MY BLOOD BOIL! These LIBRARY LIBS are "lending" books to ANYONE THAT WANTS THEM – FOR FREE!!! Come on, people, haven’t we learned how to TREAT THE POOR? Entitlements, handouts, government support – they just pamper a lot of lazy BUMS who don’t want to work hard enough to BUY A BOOK! I guess the "librarian" liberal effete elite just don’t believe in CAPITALISM and THE AMERICAN WAY! Don’t they know that GOD’S HOLY BIBLE tells us "THOU SHALT NEITHER A LENDER NOR A BORROWER BE?" Talk about GOVERNMENT GONE WILD! When are we finally going to acquaint the "underprivileged" with GOD’S TRUTH that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH? NOT ON MY DIME, BUDDY! Aren’t we tired of ANTI-BUSINESS LIBS who try to cripple AMERICAN INDUSTRY? Who is going to buy a book when these people are "lending" them for free?

And who put the LIBS in LIBRARIES anyway? Losers can check out books on ANY SUBJECT there, including GAY MARRIAGE, ABORTION, GUN CONTROL, BIRTH CONTROL, "EVOLUTION," GODLESS PAGAN ATHEISM and even BILL CLINTON! People are going on the internet in libraries, the UNREGULATED INTERNET where they can learn to MAKE BOMBS, GROW GERM WARFARE and even look at MOVEON.ORG! Remember these are the same "librarians" who refused to hand over all the personal information on what their "patrons" were "checking out" when our president and commander in chief PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH ordered them to! Just in the name of "privacy" and "freedom." These are things that WE CANNOT AFFORD to pay attention to in a time of a WAR FOR FREEDOM! What have they got to hide? There are probably books about RADICAL ISLAMOFACISM freely circulating and HOMELAND SECURITY should know who is "curious" about this garbage.

These LIBRARY LIBS have never publically said that they WOULDN’T GIVE OSAMA BIN LADEN a LIBRARY CARD if he qualified. Why an IRANIAN ISLAMOFASCIST with a library card could walk in and get a book about HOW TO BUILD AN ATOMIC BOMB! How do we know SADDAM and the other 9/11 HIJACKERS didn’t learn how to fly planes into buildings from a LIBRARY BOOK? The 9/11 HIJACKERS who escaped and are fighting our brave soldiers (the REAL ONES who support the war) in our 51st state IRAQ are probably learning how to build ROADSIDE BOMBS from a LIB LIBRARY book! Let’s ask OBAMA and HILLARY which they support more, LIBRARIES or OUR FIGHTING MILITARY?

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with books – my own book People, Let’s Shoot the Traitors and Other Commonsense Ways to Continue the War on Terror is something EVERYONE SHOULD OWN, but let’s face it, you don’t have to read a book to AGREE WITH EVERYTHING our president and commander in chief PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH says, and in fact too much "knowledge" about "reality" might impede this crucial imperative. Why not follow the TRUE REPUBLICAN WAY and PRIVATIZE the libraries the way BLACKWATER has turned killing "civilians" into a profitable and efficient enterprise which allows them to redistribute more TAX MONEY TO THE CONSERVATIVE CAUSE? It’s a WIN-WIN idea! I’m sure a company like WAL-MART wouldn’t let the "patrons" walk out of their library with books for FREE. If the LIBRARY LIBS want free and balanced "information"maybe they should tear out the shelves and install televisions with one channel – FOX NEWS! There’s all the "free" information anyone needs to have – let the freeloading losers watch that and maybe they’d learn a thing or two!

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White Chalk by PJ Harvey

Have you ever noticed how much the media, corporations and big box retailers need to categorize things? It’s a tendency in the global capitalist consumer society to lay out goods in a regimented, easily reproduced way, from the floor plan of, say, a Borders Book & Music to the assemblage of a McDonald’s hamburger. The public is losing the ability to appreciate complex textures, to "read" original texts, be they written or simply presented by the world around them.

More and more passers by drift in my store and just gape, slack jawed, unable to comprehend the fact that it’s not laid out like the Borders/Barnes and Noble book consuming template they’re used to. One of the questions I still haven’t figured out how to answer without gritting my teeth is Are these books in any order? First of all, of course they are, it would obviously be impossible to function otherwise, and second, a cursory inspection of the shelves or even the signs would make things obvious, but because we don’t have the uniform signage and layout of the chains they are bound by, they are blind to the independent order around them.

With the complexity and uncertainty of the contemporary world people are drawn to security, even if, as with the Bush regime, it means the loss of freedom, or with MacDonald’s and the purveyors of popular entertainment, the loss of taste. When Bush opens his mouth you know exactly what he’s going to say as he pursues a rigid, simplistic, predictable consistency far past the point of absurdity, utterly oblivious to the actual situation around him. Similarly when you unwrap a McDonald’s hamburger or turn on the T.V. you know what you’ll get before you get it– more of the same, which people find comforting even though it may be crappy.

It’s the same thing with a Britney Spears or Kid Rock CD. The sound is so familiar that you feel as if you’ve already heard it even before you take off the shrink wrap, and it’s an utterly disposable product because, except for a few surface changes, it’s exactly like the CD before and after.

Which brings me to PJ Harvey’s new album White Chalk. If I’d listened to some of the reviews I’ve read I would never have bought it, but now I realize that the reviewers dismissed it because they couldn’t hear it. The "real" PJ Harvey is categorized in the ossified mind as the punky, guitar happy howler of classic work like Is This Desire? She’s celebrated for being an artist, but paradoxically criticized for daring to change, to follow her bliss, the reaction akin to that of horrified McDonald’s patrons if they bit into Big Macs made of Filet Mignon. The burger might actually be wonderful, but it just wouldn’t "taste right" because it wasn’t what they expected. White Chalk isn’t Is This Desire? (one of my favorite records), but it’s great in its own right.

A lot of contemporary music grows tedious by the first minute – O.K., I get it, you want more, Britney – but White Chalk has been my constant soundtrack for the last week, and, despite being only about thirty-four minutes long, hasn’t palled a bit. There’s a minor key, folksy feel to it, from the acoustic instruments to the restrained, whispery sound of PJ’s matchless voice, the lyrics suggesting old murder ballads and overheard confessions. It’s autumnal, just right for this time of year, spooky and haunting, a suite of sepia toned chamber music in the key of regret, nostalgia and dread. The same way a whisper makes you listen more actively than a shout, the quiet complexity of White Chalk remains intriguing — there’s something to it, something that moves and engages, veiled rather than hid, making the whole profound and real in a world that so often prefers sameness and plastic pretension.

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Feral House, James Shelby Downard and the Poetry of Paranoia

First of all, I’d like to pay tribute to Adam Parfrey and Feral House, the "publishers of the forbidden." We sell several Feral House titles such as Death Scenes: A Homicide Detective’s Scrapbook, Lords of Chaos: The Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground and Ian Brady’s The Gates of Janus. The House of Parfrey seems to appreciate, as I do, the vitality of the mongrel mix of high and low culture, and the energy found at the margins, away from the vitiated mainstream of America, in such topics as Conspiracy Theory, Crime, Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll. Feral House publications, along with Parfrey’s latest venture, Process, also digs those legendary periods of freedom, hedonism and cosmic ambition like the sixties and Weimar Germany.

The seminal Feral House title is Apocalypse Culture, a collection of essays that attempt to find the few remaining things that can shock our numb, satiated society. One of its more memorable authors is the late James Shelby Downard, a conspiracy theorist of the most hysterical type, who was paradoxically able to muster an extremely lucid stream of facts. I’ve just read his "autobiography" The Carnivals of Life and Death: My Profane Youth, 1913-1935 and I have to say I enjoyed it very much.

Basically Downard’s narrative is a obsessively repeated trope with variations – from a very early age he encounters groups of people who, aided actively and/or passively by his parents, are determined to kill him in strange, dramatic, ritualistic and almost slapstick ways. His enemies are the Ku Klux Klan and the Freemasons, here not simply racist or fraternal organizations, but devious occult conspiracies bent on sacrificing him as a scapegoat for their sins. Fortunately, plucky James, even at a tender age, is able to wield a shotgun or even toss a lighted match and dispatch his frequently inept tormentors. There are recurring elements in the string of dream-like incidents, such as weird prophetic books with his name on them, sympathetic wild beasts, and doors and steps booby trapped with retractable spikes. Famous people like President Franklin D. Roosevelt also frequently appear as Downard finds himself in the middle of historic events. One of my favorite scenes is when Downard witnesses the Ku Klux Klan Great Wizard "Colonel" William Joseph Simmons fellate Alexander Graham Bell in the window of the Jekyll Island Hunt Club Hotel as both hold million dollar gold certificates.

Despite the repetitions, inconsistencies and lack of credibility of the tale, the book makes for absorbing reading. It actually reminded me of Jerzy Kosinski works like Cockpit, in which there’s no continuous story-line, conclusion or final explanation but a series of violent, highly charged incidents. My mind was drawn in, trying to impose meaning, but the pieces seemed to configure in an infinite number of ways, never settling into a fixed solution. I tried occasionally to see things objectively, to figure out what really happened from the point of view of the no doubt baffled librarians and policemen Downard baited, but in the end his vision was too strong and I could only learn again the great lesson of the 20th century (whose greatest theory was relativity after all) – the illusory nature of "objective reality."

Since making connections is one of the duties of an artist, the paranoid view is, in fact, one of the prime artistic strategies of our time, another expression of the imaginative impulse, a tweaking and saturation of our world, a bestowal of life or death meaning and order on a mundane world, an insistence of the centrality of the observer and thinker. Salvador Dali called his method the "paranoiac-critical," and said "the only difference between a madman and me is that I am not mad," meaning that he was able to see the world with the hysterical craftiness of a crazy person, yet also able to assess, edit and reconfigure his own vision critically as an educated craftsman. Downard, due to his erudition and intelligence is able to do the same, and shape what could be insane ramblings into an affecting experience.

Like all good works of art The Carnival of Life and Death made me see the world in a different way, and I started to wonder about and research the oddly named "Sargon Society," the secret society of my High School, which included only the most well established sions of the Pittsburgh elite, and whose activities were carefully hidden. I may just write about it here at a later date – if THEY don’t get me first.

YR PAL,

UBU

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Quote Bag: Hot Stuff

You’ve got to hand it to those pulp writers – maybe because they were just pounding this stuff out it comes directly from the id with a power and compelling force the contemporary mold you’d find in a bookshop named, say, Shaman Drum would never have.

These passages are from 1938’s "Arms of the Flame Goddess" by Francis James as found in that great collection Selected Tales of Grim and Grue From the Horror Pulps edited by Sheldon Jaffery.

For the fire seemed to take on the shapes of girls dancing, linked hand in hand! Slim nude shapes that swayed in spectral minuet. And now they seemed to be beckoning to me, luring, taunting with an invitation of Circe-like wantonness.

Foul, unclean things were whispering, I felt their snakey crawling across my brain. For I was aware of an amazing emotion, a longing to go there to those girls!

Against the awful blackness of the night, a figure was visible. It was that of a young girl, utterly nude save for a gauzy scarf around her slim loins. She was of a witching, Circe-like beauty. Her gaze fastened on me and I couldn’t withdraw my eyes. Her look held a pagan allure, knowledge of age-old power of things beyond words, of the stark and primitive instincts that call from woman to man.

She stepped back from the window so that her whole figure was visible. Her arms rose over her head. Her slender body taut and standing on tip-toe, she seemed ready to draw down the tide of white light to her bosom. Like a naiad of ethereal and inhuman beauty she stood there, quivering, breasts hardened and throbbing – a thing not of this world, thrilling to something born of the night and the moon’s radiance.

Her arms dropped. Lascivious ripplings passed through her, writhings of a cat in throes of desire. She lifted her breasts in her cupped hands, holding them toward us.

Of course, as is so often the case in pulps, all this seemingly supernatural stuff has a mundane

, "rational" explanation that strains credibility.

"And the girl who led the men into the woods to their deaths?" I said at last.

"She wass my little Ella, my niece who keeps house for me," the big Dutchman groaned. "I did not know it, I had no suspicions. The Leadbetter woman got her to do that, she must haf given her money – and drugs. Many times I haf seen her acting not herself and I haf wondered what iss wrong."

Should have known drugs were involved!

 

 

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(Waiting For) Heather (Part Two)

(Waiting For) Heather (Part Two)

Katie called and I just let her talk. She’d broken up with Bill again, so I was treated to yet another account of what a jerk he was, familiar words that would be conveniently forgotten when they got back together in a month or so. I waited until there was a slight pause well into the conversation to serve up my strained attempt at a casual question. So, hey, did Heather ever show up?

Heather? Oh, yeah, Heather’s here. I’ve got her in my car right now. She lowered the phone and there was a brief, unintelligible exchange punctuated by giggles. Are you going to be home later?

Home? Oh, yeah, I’ll be here all night.

Heh-heh.

She didn’t seem to be listening. Gotta go. See you later.

It wasn’t unreasonable then, was it, for me to think that they might be over that night? But what was unreasonable was that I was still waiting in my living room at midnight, jumping up to crane out the window every time headlights stabbed down my street, still hoping long after I knew that there was no way in the world they were coming.

Of course I should have known better than to expect Katie to arrive on schedule. The same Katie whose organizational skills and discipline had propelled her to the top of her law school class and made her the rising star of her law firm was often unable to meet the simplest of obligations to her friends. She was never less than fifteen minutes late for even the most carefully planned meeting and just as likely never to show up at all.

But there I was the next night and the next, popping up at the noise of a car or the ring of the telephone, and then dejectedly sitting down again. Katie had e-mailed me, apologizing and promising to bring Heather over "soon." I knew enough about her schedule to be fairly certain when to expect her and when not to, but my brain couldn’t seem to process the information, bound by nerves stretched tight as bowstrings, each second dripping down relentlessly. I felt like I was standing on ground zero, in the middle of something that hadn’t happened yet, the air around me charged and buzzing, filled with a strange clarity.

The other thing was that after I talked to Katie I realized that I missed her very much, too. After all, she and I had more than memories between us, an actual, if intermittent relationship, one that seemed to be on the verge of heating up again. I started remembering how good it could be between us, picturing all the things I’d tried to push out of my head when I knew she was with Bill.

They say the best way to condition rats is to reinforce them only occasionally – they’ll keep pushing that lever forever if something good comes out once in a while. That was part of Katie’s difficult charm. Just when you were about to give up on her she came through.

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Crime Beat: The Juice is Loose

Thirsty Intruder helps self to juice

An Ann Arbor couple told police they returned home Wednesday evening and found that someone had helped themselves to juice from their refrigerator.

A 39-year-old man called police after he and his wife returned to their home in the 300 block of North Seventh Street at about 6 p.m. and found a pitcher of juice and a juice container on their front porch.

There was grass on the bottom of the pitcher, and cranberry juice was emptied from a container and replaced with apple juice.

They also found a used glass on the kitchen counter by the sink.

The couple told officers they left at about 10 a.m. and that the items were in the refrigerator then.

They were unsure if all the doors were locked.

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Product of the Year!

I know my Christmas list just got a lot shorter!
 
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Return of the POD People

It’s time once again for the POD (print on demand) round-up. This month I think the titles just say it all. Who wouldn’t want these scintillating books! (Though a couple of the names are great too – do you think Randy Read’s book really is a randy read? And is there a Angllhugnu1?)

Decision Making in the Manufacturing Environment: Using Graph Theory and Fuzzy Multiple Attribute Decision Making Methods by R. Venkata Rao Springer $139.00

Evolving Methods for Macromolecular Crystallography

by Randy Read Spinger $159.00

Forks in the Flowerpots

by Jojo Schroeder Blue Mustang Press $9.95

A Geometric Anaylsis of the Platonic Solids and Other Semi-Regular Polyhedra

by Kenneth J. M. MacLean Loving Healing Press $44.95

Her Soup Made the Moon Weep

by Carol Aronoff Pelican Pond Press $14.95

Identity & Security: A Common Architecture & Framework for SAO and Network Convergence by Rakesh Radhakrishnan Futuretext $50.00

IM with God: A Journey to the Center of the One in You

by Angllhugnu2 Booklocker.com $18.95

Life’s Toughest Lessons Aren’t Meant For Nothing

by Terry Dodd Xulon Press $17.99

Mermaid in a Bowl of Tears

by Cindy Brandner Starry Night Press $19.99

The Smell of Telescopes

by Rhy Hughes Eibonvale Press $46.00

Tombstone Treats for God’s Kids

by Thea Foltz Xulon Press $11.99

Wickhead’s Guide to Verbal Gusto

by Jim Kelly Groundbreaking Press $14.95

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Complaint: New World Order vs Mankind

 

This is a portion of an actual legal document furnished by our friends at GDA:

 

COMPLAINT

"NEW WORLD ORDER AGAINST MANKIND"

COUNT 1

Vast conspiracy through Defendant’s for New World Order forcing the Uniform Commercial Code "UCC" on my life. False pretences created the ALL CAPS of my flesh and blood name forcing me to do business with the DE FACTO / ENS LEGIS UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT. The Defendant’s through subliminal messaging and RFID on star chips, combined with daily life technology suckers me into contract. The federal Reserve Bank is unconstitutional, federal reserve notes ( fiat money) are backed by no substance except the American Citizens "promise". .The Defendants are spreading this concept globally, preventing anyone from leaving this planet. Flights from travel agencies are suspended according to TRAVELOCITY.com.

 

COUNT 2

George Bush is a time traveler, conspired with Duke of Normandy at Battle of Hastings 1066 A.D. to pervert the English Dictonary and Law .Admiral/Maritime Jurisdiction is hearing my complaint. The american flag is M.I.A. held hostage at FEMA camps

.

COUNT 3

George W. Bush is the grand Iman of voodoo witch doctors turning humans to animals, sometimes plants. April 14Th, 2001 was witnessed seen together with United Nations Secreatry General Kofi Annan at a Falls Church Virginia smorgasbord, discussing top secret protocol, and Social Security as a Ponzi Scam.

COUNT 4

Trading with Enemy Act of October 6th, 1917, yet George W. Bush and Defendants secretly sell inmates DNA on the international stock market including, but not limited to: HITLER’S SOCIALIST PARTY, GUERILLA ASIAN MOVEMENT, and on 3 occations the NIGERIAN JUNJAWEED’S.

COUNT 5

Defendant’s were involved with FCI WILLIAMSBURG’S construction,failing to the build an ANTI- UFO defense system, releasing staph infection in the water system, hiring Robotic correctional guards.

 

COUNT 6

The 14TH amendment of the Constitution was not ratified properly. Myself was not allowed a vote. Mysterious supernatural creatures drinking YOOHOO Condi Rice is a NASA created experiment, spreading false democracy. black / white race war.

 

COUNT 7

HOUSE JOINT RESOLUTION 192 of June 5TH, 1933. Defendant’s planned Elizabeth Smarts kidnapping. George W. Bush intercepted on Federal Wiretap, on the final stages of a secret Government weather making machine.

 

COUNT 8

People acted-separately and together to accomplish the following:

* March 4TH, 2003- George W. Bush stole my Identity

* July 22ND, 2002- George W. Bush joined alliance with AL-Qaeda

-.’

* May 10TH, 2000- covert prostitution at local utility companies

* October 18TH, 2001- radiation released by United Airline Pilots

* January 9TH, 2004- hypnotherapists who advertise in newspapers

* December 25TH, 2002- price gouging citizens

Plaintiff’s back was injured. Was forced fed. Security and Exchanges commission

stole PLaintiff’s money. 2 ingrown toe nails. Missing americans at college

frat houses. Plaintiff "seeks relief in monetary amount set at beginning complaint

also granting this Honorable Court to impose a restraining order against George

W. Bush. Please also include Restraing order against Airforce one.

 

 

 

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