Minnie Mouse and Mr. Bubble

As he lay in the bath he felt suddenly uncomfortable – there didn’t seem to be anything he could look at with real interest – the same faucet, the same knobs, the same tiles, everything carefully chosen to be in appearance and quality far above the generic level of a hotel, but yet, with time, they’d grown equally anonymous. If he’d been a pope or nobleman in the Italian Renaissance, he thought, there would have been a lot to contemplate, hand painted panels and exquisite carvings – the things that were now in museums from that time that hadn’t come from churches had, after all, been created to be private property, to be displayed and appreciated by individuals at home. But wouldn’t Botticelli’s magnificent Birth of Venus, painted on a wedding chest, become just another piece of furniture if seen every day?

But the reproduction of it he had next to his bed for years had never become part of the wallpaper, and had, in fact, seemed to always radiate a promise of beauty that had allowed him to get out of that bed when he might have found no other reason.

And, as his eyes fell on the plastic Minnie Mouse figure perched on the soap ledge or Mr. Bubble on the label of his bottle, they too seemed to have a spirit, a depth that transcended these single representations of them, the way the statue of god or saint did. For some reason their familiarity did not produce the same ennui the rest of the room did. Was it merely the fact that they were anthropomorphic characters, endlessly reproduced, the players in crude dramas that made them still interesting? Was it their ability to be manipulated, to enter into play by performing new actions in new ways, ways that the rest of the room couldn’t?

Or was their force even more occult than that – were they some kind of modern spirit, contemporary expressions of the same energies that were perceived as demigods or fairies in past times, the household daemons of the Greeks? Were they new manifestations for avatars from another dimension seeking to incarnate themselves in our own?

As usual, Mr. Bubble’s smile remained as inscrutable as Aphrodite’s… 

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Quote Bag:Blasts From the Past

When we first opened our store we thought it was necessary to make people aware of our name and who we were, so we advertised every month in a local publication. Since we didn’t have too many events to publicize back then, I’d stick in a quote about murder and mystery in the little ad, and, since I’m an inveterate quote recorder, there was no shortage of material. The ads actually built up a small following, but with more signings and less money spent on advertising, the quotes became quickly expendable.

The other day as I was cleaning out my desk I found a few index cards with quotes on them and figured they deserved to be resurrected:

 

I read inchoately, I read emotionally. I read for story, I read for milieu. I read because reading crime novels gave me both a tidy sense of resolution and a sense that the ramifications of violent events would go on forever.

– James Ellroy

 

Truth will come to light, murder cannot be hid long.

– William Shakespeare

 

What do most major writers have in common? A fascination with crime.

– Joyce Carol Oates

 

I find homicides quite stimulating.

– Ellery Queen

 

"That’s why mystery writers are, on the whole, such mild-mannered individuals," Peggy said smiling. "They don’t have to take an axe to the people they hate, they kill them with a pen. Or a word processor."

– Barbara Michaels

 

Murder was for the newspapers! For the dry, old court records, for history, for anything but not for her!

How could anybody to whom you’d given six ties (and hung over the counter for a long time choosing the designs) be a murderer.

– Mignon G. Eberhart

 

Steering her Toyota through the crowded local roads, puffing on a cigarette and listening to the radio, she could not have known that just three days before, her son had murdered a young prostitute in the backseat of the car she was now driving.

– Lisa Beth Pulitzer and Joan Swirsky

 

They really shouldn’t have stopped. After all they had a body in the trunk!

– Fred Rosen

 

When Patrolman Safina rushed up the back stairs at the station house to report to the Ninth Detective Squad that a dead body had been found in the trunk of a rented car, the immediate reaction was largely annoyance. "Another one?" somebody said.

– Dick Schaap

 

Again and again, Christa lifted the rock and slammed it into Colleen’s skull until the asphalt split the hard bone into two pieces. "Stop Christa! That’s enough!" Tadaryl called.

"No, I want to see brains."

– Patricia Springer

 

Each ant emerged from the skull bearing an infinitesimal portion of brain.

– Donald Westlake

 

"You’ve never really hurt anybody before yesterday, have you?" asked Deputy Thompson.

"Oh, yeah," Cindy replied casually. "I’ve hurt lots of people. I’ve stabbed people, I’ve shot people. I’ve tried to run people down, I’ve beaten people…"

"Ever kill anybody before?"

"No, and I’ve tried so many times."

– Joan Merriam

  

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Paul Leppin’s Severin’s Journey Into the Dark

I’m always telling my customers that one reason to read anthologies is that they are a great way to find new authors, and by gum, ain’t it the gospel truth. I’ve been reading the Dedalus Decadence series and have found, particularly in The Dedalus Book of German Decadence: Voices of the Abyss, a few cool authors that I wasn’t aware of and have been able to follow up on. There was an excerpt from one of Paul Leppin’s novels in there that made me want to read more, and I was pleased to discover that a groovy little publisher called Twisted Spoon Press have a couple of titles out by him with another to be reprinted soon. Leppin (1878-1945) was a German writer in Prague, the "uncrowned king of the Prague bohemians." The short story collection Others’ Paradise is an exquisite little string of jewels, but almost TOO brief and allusive (and hence elusive). It was his novel Sevrin’s Journey Into the Dark (1914) that really sent me. It’s a very decadent, wonderfully written, delicious piece of prose and I savored it like a Sacher-Masoch torte. It reminded me in many ways of a Munch painting.. Here’s a few of my favorite titbits:

More than ever he thirsted for a genuine life, one that bestowed flowers and terror and blew the daily round to pieces with its stormy jaws.

He wanted to ask her if it was possible to create an artificial life that was deceptively similar to the real one and could be mastered.

He looked into the shadows of the houses down below and saw his own form, wrapped in the riddles of death and love, restless in streets where thoughts of murder rose from the stony pavement and blinded his heart.

Through unrestrained dissonances, she had endowed the place with a strange and provocative beauty that suited her nature and that she did not want to live without.

Mylada understood his body. With the talented and clear-sighted depravity of her experienced youth she understood his essence and subjected herself to the caprices she discovered within it. She found the refuge of his desires and traced them to the roots of his nerves. She taught him the bizarre and licentious games of love, and their tenderness enthralled him. Her kisses were inventive and the happiness they prepared him for was a sinful and desperate diversion. Often, when she clung to his neck and a lascivious cloud veiled her eyes, he lost his memory of the present. The room where they tarried seemed unfamiliar and fantastic, and the lamp in front of his bed shone with a strange light. He saw the sparks under her eyelids dance and a golden wave extinguished the thoughts in his brain.

When, with cruelly trifling fingers, she undressed in front of him, he threw his destiny at her feet. He could no longer escape it, and it forced him to his knees. Sobbing, tantalized by an unearthly bliss, he touched his lips to her camisole. 

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From the desk of Jenny Laud Garuda, Candidate for City Council

 

Hello neighbor!

I am writing this missive in order to introduce myself and ask for your support in the upcoming election for city Council. My name is Jenny Laud Garuda and I would love to have a chance to be your next representative for this ward in our fair city of trees, leaves and bumblebees. As you can perhaps tell I love nature and if I receive your vote I will make sure to make nature my first constituent.

Many factors are at play in our city during this period of transition and uncertainty. The leaves are not yet changing and yet I, and many of those who appreciate things green feel that there is a need for change not only on the molecular level but also on the level of our city government. If I am elected I will ride a bicycle to every meeting and even to the annual junket in Las Vegas. I practice conservation in many ways – I have even been known to chew the same piece of gum for three or four days at a time. Perhaps this is the kind of city Councilwoman that you desire! I know that is true for my husband, even though he no longer resides in our state.

There are those in power in high places in our beautiful town who would like to chain saw all beauty and erect ugly and unnatural edifices of plastic in concrete. I am not one of those people even though I’m not in power but even if I were in power I would also not be one of those people, because and simply because I’m not that kind of a person. I’m a person who likes pretty things and nice things and does not like ugly things and bad things. If that’s the kind of person you would like to have a serving you as a paid representative in both our town and Las Vegas then I’m the kind of a person that a person like you should be voting for.

I’m not going to bore you with long details of my experience and prowess or give you a long list of accomplishments awards and honors that I have won, like my opponent, and not merely because I want to save paper and believe that what is in your heart is more important than what is on your resume, but because a first step must begin somewhere and I would like to begin to change the world in our city council. My friends know that I am an accomplished personality with a love for macramé and abiding respect for small animals and a slight obsession about marsupials. I’m the sort of individual who reads the words of our local blog god Mark Maynard religiously every day – and changes her ypsipanties almost as often! I am no fancy pants with a law degree or experience, but a person like any one of you, who has learned a lot in the simple pursuits of hanging out with society’s humble at liberty Plaza or at the library. You will know that the first thing I will do is to move to allow cute Guinea pigs like my own sweet Throckmorton to run free and happy in the library, police station, juvenile hall, hospital and other places that are, after all, supported by the tax dollars of the mommies and daddies of those same sweet guinea pigs.

I’m not one to beg or threaten, I’ve learned my lesson after the panhandling ordinance and several restraining orders, but I will say that those who do not choose to vote for me in today’s primary are putting a dagger into the heart of mother Earth herself, and basically performing the equivalent of jabbing out the eyeballs of a small, cute animal or cartoon icon such as SpongeBob Square pants with a sharpened pencil. But make no charges that can be proven against my opponent, but if one watches public access cable and the televised meetings of the city Council you will soon note that my said opponent is constantly holding such a sharpened pencil in his hands. A truly astute observer will also note the shocking condition of his cuticles and the amount of dirt he permits to accumulate under his fingernails. My hands, on the other hand seldom hold a sharpened pencil, and are always enlivened with a pleasant pastel or neon shade of nail polish.

Well, Oprah is about to make her appearance on my television so it is with great reluctance that I must bid you my future constituent a fond farewell and bid you to remember that one person’s vote can make all the difference but only if that vote is cast for me.

Thank you and take care God bless,

Your next Councilwoman,

Jenny Laud Garuda

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Quote Bag: Blatant Lushness

There is a degree of prettiness which merges to sheer beauty; and Leicester, who had adopted the jargon of his day, had once called her "divine" without eliciting either gratification or amusement from the object of his praise. All the attributes of divinity which a faultless skin, big grave eyes, and a supple body can give to a woman, she had. Her hair was brown, with a fleet glint of gold in it, and a poet might rhapsodize upon her hands.

– Edgar Wallace

Light feet, dark violet eyes, and parted hair,

Soft dimpled hands, white neck and creamy breast,

All things on which the dazzled senses rest

Til the fond, fixed eyes forget they stare.

– Keats

Her dark beauty was speaking to me in a language of its own; a strange language, yet one so intelligible that I struggled in vain to disregard it.

But in saying it I had to turn my head aside, for the strangest, maddest impulses were bubbling up in my brain in response to those half-shut eyes.

– Sax Rohmer

Why don’tcha

Make love to Tampa, darlin’

And let’s jump the town

– Tampa Red

It may be that Amy’s butterfly affairs can be traced to childhood and young adult years, which are still hazy and perplexing to police and other investigators who have peered into her life and examined the complex personality quirks and failings that created the dangerously devious woman she became.

– Clifford Lindecker

Young women who are walking in the straight road don’t dress as Lucy dressed.

– Mrs. J. H. Riddell

She wore a tight green sweater which she filled with blatant lushness.

I had read enough fiction to know there was only one plot when a woman invited a man to her apartment and received him in a robe.

The sharp point of a purple fingernail removed a fleck of tobacco from a purple lip.

She gave me a furtive glance and expelled smoke through her nostrils.

– Bruno Fischer

She was breathing fast, and the housecoat had gaped to afford a wonderful view of some provocative feminine architecture.

– Kevin North

The tall redhead, smiling with her intoxicating hint of special comradeship through a foot or so of smoke-hazed air, seemed to offer him more than he could quite dream of.

"You’re running with the pack now," she told him. "You have no human friends."

– Jack Williamson

She had this trick of talking without opening her mouth, keeping her lips puckered up, waiting to be kissed, and she wrinkled her nose and I could see the tiny freckles on the bridge, and her skin was marble cool in all this heat.

– Robert Bloch

Altogether she was a very attractive girl and a most disturbing apparition for an old gentleman of forty who is trying to forget his marriage.

Her face seemed to be falling apart as women’s faces do when they are past their first youth and have been on a jag for a week.

– John Welcome

Roxy Ricks didn’t really believe that her friend Stephanie Martin had murdered Chris Hatton. But something inside of her knew that Stephanie had cut off Chris Hatton’s hands.

– Suzy Spencer  

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Quote Bag: Satan’s Stoners

I saw Patti Smith last night, thirty years after I saw her for the first time. I’ve seen her many, many times in between and Thursday she put on yet another legendary show. She is a true goddess and I dedicate this cut-up to her…

 

Numerous accounts survive of weird meetings, known as Sabbats, where the witches feasted, took drugs, danced wildly, copulated and cursed their enemies.

The witch-cult, therefore, may have been a creed of social rebellion based upon orgiastic revels, drug abuse and the deliberate adoption of heretical symbols, with the witches’ Sabbat as a kind of medieval hippie festival.

And if the hippie movement was mystical, its holiest rite was the love-in, its sacrament the LSD tab, and its high priests the young musicians who provided the soundtrack to the era.

"Stoners" the most common term applied to these improvised Satanists, is, in youth parlance just a loose term for an unmotivated kid who likes rock music and marijuana. However to self-styled experts on Satanism, stoners are an amorphous cult dedicated to the service of Satan himself.

– Gavin Braddeley

 

The coven was composed almost entirely of young hippie types (for lack of a better description) who were seeking, through the use of hallucinogens, a release into a religious world.

They belonged to a group of local youths called the Knights of the Black Circle, which dabbled in Satanism, and whose gatherings included such social activities as drug use, blood drinking and animal sacrifice, and listening to the music of such heavy metal groups as AC/DC, Black Sabbath, and Judas Priest.

These events served as a cathartic release for the participants, with religious-like use of symbols and costumes by the performers, wild and hypnotic music, widespread use of hallucinogens and orgiastic dancing.

Another young man reported to police that he had seen a group of hippies dancing wildly around a parked car, on the hood of which were the carcasses of five skinned dogs.

He claimed that gangs of nihilistic adolescents, calling themselves "stoners" are engaged in satanic worship, cemetery desecrations and blood sacrifice.

Members of stoner gangs are quite adept at writing backwards and using the Runic, Theban, Hebrew, Pafsing, Malchim and Celestial alphabets. That is why much of their graffiti is not recognizable to the untrained eye.

They might be able to write backward and in Etruscan, but the so-called stoners often seem to have difficulty writing forward, in English.

The prevalent use of drugs among them is merely one manifestation of this restlessness and dissatisfaction.

The violently anti-social proclivities of these elements and their typically mystical sense of perception, which is aided by their frequent use of hallucinogenic drugs, is likely to lead to a spiraling pattern of barbarity.

Hallucinogens tend to fragment experience for the user, and in many cases are dissociative even after use. They therefore facilitate the breakdown of social values that possibly existed only as an inclination in the mind of the person before use.

Instead of asking why deviants want to do things that are disapproved of, we might better ask why conventional people do not follow through on deviant impulses they have.

– Arthur Lyons

 

When I was in Los Angeles and smoking pot, I was thrown into trances by radio programs produced by "wizards" who used fantastic imagery and spellbinding language.

I started out as a snob, became intrigued, went off-beat, and from then on I started blowing weed. Life became a weird trip. I was a freaked out snob.

Narcotics are an integral part of the hippie scene. I believe that marijuana started the whole pipedream that is part of the unreality that permeates the hippie cult.

The demon-possessed, freaknik religion is damaging the minds and damning the souls of American youths.

Don’t mistake weirdness for wisdom.

Don’t mistake lewdness for love.

If being a square means not taking drugs, not dressing in kooky clothes, not selling your body to the highest bidder nor running away from the responsibilities and problems of life, then I pray, God give us more squares!

– David Wilkerson 

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The Lion and the Lamb

The following was created by cobbling together passages from The Lion and the Lamb by E. Phillips Oppenheim.

The girl swung herself around on the couch, threw a smoked out cigarette to the hearth, pressed back her hair and sat up.

David passed her a box, and she lit one with a little murmur of satisfaction.

"The last thing I remember that night was you in your blue pajamas."

David, surprisingly overpowered by the thought of Belle with her amazing personality, her perfume, her flamboyant charms, at close quarters was suddenly terrified.

"I am here to destroy you after a fashion of my own."

"Aren’t you getting a little creepy?" he ventured.

"The whole thing is absurd," she drawled. "Life itself seems absurd since I was pitched into the middle of these ridiculous people.

She looked across at him, an anxious light in her eyes, but a defiant smile curving her lips.

"You still seem restless, David. Doesn’t my visit please you? Your room is so hot. Do you mind if I throw open my furs?"

"Of course not," he assented. "Let me help you."

She loosened the fastenings. A breath of that curious perfume stole up to him and again he felt that faint shiver which he had previously resented. She smiled – the fine sensuous lips of a Venus, slowly parting, as she bent over one refractory clasp.

"Now I am more comfortable," she confided, one hand resting upon his shoulder. "Do you want me to tell you – everything?"

She stood there, her hands at her sides, her furs thrown back, her scarlet frock a line of flame in the room, looking across at him.

"I am coming to you," she said. "It is for you to say the rest."

"Why?" he asked quickly.

She looked at him and smiled – a smile of reminiscence. Then she knocked the ash from her cigarette.

"Ah, well," she murmured. "There might be many reasons."

I hate that overwhelming perfume she uses, he thought, and I hate that covert insolence all the time underlying her manner. She is in her wrong place over here. She should be a sultana in some Eastern country. The most fascinating thing in life is still the flashing of lurid colours on to the grim canvas of the sullen night, the hysteria of passion, men grabbing for one another’s throats, the stab of pain, the whistling bullet. 

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Letters to the Editor

City council needs prophet on call

Dear Editor,

I couldn’t help but notice that in the plethora of verbiage concerning the local acquisition of certain selected points of interest that may or may not have any relevance to the economy of need in our locality that a certain superhuman Entity who passes all understanding may have been overlooked. I am speaking of course of God the Kernel and Wise Sovereign of the universe He created, maintains, owns and operates.

I don’t know if it is more heart rending or side splitting that a certain wise and ineffable Super Duper Being is the One who is never taken into account when such decisions are made by our city council. It is not hard to contact God, in fact if you’re tuned in to His frequency He will be talking in your head constantly. Those of you unlucky enough to have tuned Him out may still access His word in the Bible or by way of His many faithful mouthpieces on cable television. Before we pass another similar bill we should ask ourselves what would His intention be if He could be understood in the way that some of us who are stigmatized as insane or crazy do.

Perhaps it would be valuable for our public servants to have someone around who is in constant contact with the Creator. Such a person would be invaluable in terms of guiding the government in ways that meet with His master plan. Imagine knowing directly from the Big Guy where a sewer line should be installed or which hand a criminal should have cut off. One such person lives in our town, but modesty prevents him from naming himself beyond the signature which appears at the end of this missive. Schizophrenia is just a modern disparagement tacked by the ungodly secularist upon those who in earlier ages would have received honors, glory and a host of sin free virgins. Possession is not a tool of the devil alone, or the latest symptom to add to the secularist plague which seeks to deny the Godly their rightful, righteous place but one of God’s many instruments by which He seeks to do His will in municipal government.

Sincerely,

Chester M. Mahoodie, Port Chester

 

Christian inheritance did not mention on the 4 July

Notably and sadly missing in the languages and the messages editorials, that celebrate our independence on the 4 July, the deficiency was the knowledge that contributes to our establishing fathers into the Christian inheritance of America.

The Christian principles in America became were drawn established on directly of the word of God title. America was a holy nation because many were deeply determined by the establishing fathers to honor God, and its laws in the creating of this country.

I would like to give some support facts, around how God America is influenced.

Everyone have were establishing fathers this nation that acknowledges publicly God, when creator arranged and that a, that gave us freedom in the model of government title apprenticeship.

The founders of our nation were led to use the Bible, to arrange our state, Bill of rights and right system who made America the largest nation on earths.

It is said, been based are that 70% of our laws on the Bible, and that 94% of the letter of the establishing fathers price details of the pipe contained.

The political constitutions of all 50 countries mentioned Kaw. We can conclude, was established drawn became are used that the Christian principles in America on our directly by the Bible, and as the standard for reigning. A nation, that forgets God and its Christian inheritance, is lost a nation for judgment. The nation raised quotation mark uprightness: but sin a blame to its people is. And price detail proverb 14:34

Gordon C. High outlet, Ypsilanti 

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Katie: Part Six

And so we rolled on 28 along the river, the two of us, Katie’s headlights stabbing through my back window, her face indistinguishable among the shifting reflections of trees on the windshield. Used as I was to the streetlights and sidewalks of Squirrel Hill, I still wasn’t all that comfortable driving out in the country, never quite able to convince myself that the road didn’t suddenly end around the next dark curve. Katie, on the other hand, was born to it, her huge house set in a huge tree filled lot at the most exclusive edge of suburbia, and she crowded me impatiently.

Now that we’d begun, the strangeness of our mutual endeavor was starting to sink in. We’d hardly ever been alone together, just the two of us, only collaborating previously on various group hi-jinks in track with devious Heather and the others. What was she thinking about back there? Was she listening to music? If she was there was no doubt it was WDVE, the station everybody listened to, myself included, the kettledrums of Love, Reign O’er Me percolating from the rear speakers of my parents’ Ford Granada.

But music didn’t seem to mean much to Katie aside from her occasional stiff strutting to Earth, Wind and Fire at parties. She was probably sitting there in silence, peering intently over the steering wheel, fuming, picturing ways to pinch Ungie’s head off. Of course she blamed Ungie for what was or wasn’t happening in that bedroom back at the party when there was no doubt that it was all Bill’s fault. In a moment of high candor Ungie had once confided in me that she never initiated, only presented herself until the guy inevitably "tried something," at which point she either acquiesced or protested, at the beginning almost always choosing the former and at the moment of truth the latter.

It seemed a shame that a lout like Bill would gain the devotion of a tough and confident girl like Katie – a reflection that brought my thoughts to Virginia. True, her boyfriend Tad was the pick of the litter, cut smarter, sharper and stronger than twin Bill, who at times seemed like a crude copy of his brother, but there was no denying that they were made of the same stuff. I’d always thought of them as the Krays of our school, achieving eminence through sheer balls and the willingness to back each other up to the hilt.

It was surely that testosterone that attracted the coeds to them the same way Ungie’s oversized, cartoonish pneumatics mesmerized the guys. It was the way of nature, inevitable yet inexplicable, the power that had bound me to Virginia rather than some more suitable girl. In the spring you could see the force of it all around you, the mad germination of life chasing the earth down and making it its own.

But maybe Katie was back there thinking about Pan, himself very like a force of nature, and all the rumors and stories that had crystalized around him, especially in circles like Katie’s that had had very little direct contact. But the conformist imagination, however, was far too prosaic to have any idea of what we were heading toward.  

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Greetingd,

Greetingd,

Below my good friend of American extraction I hope that today finds you well in considerable Christian health. I’m afraid that perhaps you find this message slightly puzzling but I hope that you were not offended at the efforts of a fellow seeker of God to find matters for mutual benefit in the sundering of certain treasures that have migrated from my unhappy country. In the early days of 2000 in the seventh month of that year a fund was established by my countrymen in order to preserve their freedom, this fund was in the some of 200,000 billion dollars as well as additional funds in gold silver platinum and gold next watches.

Unfortunately, as you are no doubt aware if you peruse the papers or watch the cable television, my unhappy country has been the victim of repeated terrorist attack by those who do not love freedom and God-fearing Christian people. As a result the fund of which I spoke has been placed in the locker in the downtown Ypsilanti bus station and held in check room under the name of Mark Maynard, inventor of the Ypsipanty, a true hero and responsible champion of the children of tomorrow who was crippled and unable to walk by the craven King Numa during a pay per view steel cage match watched by millions of my countrymen. The only way that this fund can be redeemed is it a responsible person now residing in an area comprising or contingemt upon the continental United States is to get the key, open the locker and avail themselves of these vast sums.

I would like you like it or to be this person. I’ve long prayed to the Christian God and his son upon the cross to guide me finding a true Christian person to help me inspire them with this fast wealth. The key of which I spoke can only be redeemed at the cost of a mere fraction of this gigantic fortune. Unfortunately, due to the significant problems of my terrorist haunted homeland only one of those was able to send me a money order cash or Rolex watches will be able to open this locker as my own funds are now in the hands of a close personal friend of Satan who is known as King Numa the chief terrorist of whom I referenced previously and a replica key can only be produced by the actions of a certain locksmith of my acquaintance who must be lightly remunerated by the funds that you will graciously provide and which will soon be restored into your hands multiple times over by the grace of our good lord. I trust that you will be discreet as this matter best left out of the hands of the taxing authorities would rob us blind and steal our Christian money which God has intended us to have a help us and succor us in our own free faith.

I know that the Christian God of whom we both revere would not steer my missive to one with sick jests cast in any way contrary to the will of our award a conforming to plan of the terrorists and state. So please, in order to assure the vast sums soon be coming your way make a providential withdrawal from your bank account and immediately forward the sums to me in order and I may facilitate a fortune which will soon be coming your way.

Yours in the memory of a patriotic world ruled over by wealth, happiness and our faithful religion of the never forgot.

Didlob A’ Doupa

Director of the fund for instant enrichment 

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