The Elevator

 

The Elevator

It’s the only elevator on campus and it won’t come. I’m up on the eighth floor of Pierce Hall, the high rise dorm – I’m estimating that it’s somewhere in the four a.m. area – the evening’s proceedings have distorted my sense of time to the point that I can’t really tell how long I’ve been here, tottering, every so often lurching forward to punch the already lit button, an act that doesn’t seem to make the elevator arrive any faster or, indeed, arrive at all.

It’s at this point that Tekla almost runs into me, coming down the hall in her robe, clutching a hot pot, as half asleep as I’m half awake.

Oh, hi Charlie. We both stand there for a second, taking each other in. So, she says finally, Up early or out late?

Late I guess. You?

Insomnia.

She lifts the pot. I thought I might have some tea.

Oh,

I say, and, not being able to think of anything else, stab the button again.

I’m not sure if that’s going to do any good. On the weekends those guys on the fifth floor like to find new ways of getting it stuck.

Oh.

I peer at the stairwell entrance doubtfully. Hmmm. I’m not too sure I’m up for all those steps. I don’t say it, but I can’t go back to where I came from either, the party in Megan’s room being decisively over – she’s made her choice for the evening and it’s not me.

Well, if you don’t mind a cup of lukewarm tea, you’re welcome to join me.

Tea? Ah, yeah, sure, why not, thanks…I’m sure if I just sit down for a minute…

O.K., I’ll just get the water and I’ll be right back. Don’t you move.

Like I could

I say, and we both laugh.

While she’s in the bathroom there’s a startling ding and the elevator doors slide open. I gaze abstractly at the grey graffitied interior until they close again – it’s been an interesting enough evening already and I’m not at all inclined to let it end now.

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Reserve Your Spot Now!

this is sure to be a popular event!

 

FRIDAY – December 26

BIKE YPSI: BIKE TO WORK

8 a.m., start at Bombadills Café, 217 W. Michigan Ave., Ypsilanti.

Also, 5:15 p.m., return trip, Larcom Municipal Building, 100 N. Fifth Ave., Ann Arbor. Helmet required. Free.

 

Weather Report: Extremely icy conditions. A.M. Sleet, P.M. Frozen rain.

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Merry X-mas

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Pursuit

 

Sister

In the parking lot

Having fallen

Unmendable

Indifferent to the earth

Its black ice

 

Now you’re gone

Only too often

Like all the time

Always the same thing

Also known

As nothing

 

Once you gestured

Things pursue me

 

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Crime Beat: Holidays Are For Family

 

JACKSON

Man bites mom in fight, cops say

A 19-year-old man has been arrested after police say he bit his mother in the face.

The Jackson Citizen Patriot reports a 39-year-old Jackson woman was hospitalized Wednesday after her son bit her cheek. Police say the man bit her during a dispute and then fled the home.

He later returned and was arrested on charges of maiming, being a minor in possession of alcohol and a bond violation. The woman’s injury was not life-threatening.

 

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Quote Bag: Decorous and Daring

 

The dress was both decorous and daring. No woman could criticize, no man fail to notice.

— Vera Caspary

 

Her face had the prettiness that the first glance almost exhausts, the prettiness, amazing in its quantity, that one sees for a moment under the light of the street lamps when shops and offices close for the day. She was short-nosed, pulpy-mouthed and faunish-eyed, and only the rather remarkable smallness of the head on the splendid thick throat saved her from ordinariness.

— Oliver Onions

 

For, paradoxically, awareness of the sensual and of the eternal are indivisibly linked.

 — Arthur Versluis

 

I have wrung life dry for your lips to drink,

Broken it up for your daily bread.

— Algernon Swinburne

 

Rick continued weeping as he stuttered and stammered, trying to define the concepts of his and Mary Sue’s relationship. Mary Sue was speechless. It wasn’t the kind of conversation she was normally accustomed to having with Christian pastors.

— Dale Hudson

 

The prophetic Poe, collaborating with his zeitgeist, arrived at the distinctive signs and symbols of a universal nightmare – and devised in the form of the detective story a means of keeping the nightmare at bay.

— David Lehman

 

I remember thinking that the head of my department at Kennett Teachers must be right when he maintains that he can understand an intelligent person doing research to blot out reality as one plays Chinese checkers or reads mystery stories, but he can’t understand why such a person thinks he is really doing something that counts.

— Carey Magoon

 

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Crime Beat: The Value of Experts

 

Anti-kidnapping expert kidnapped

MEXICO CITY – A U.S. anti-kidnapping expert was abducted by gunman in northern Mexico last week, a sign of just how bold this nation’s kidnapping gangs have become.

U.S. security consultant Felix Batista – who claims to have helped resolve nearly 100 kidnap and ransom cases – was in Satillo in Coahuila state to offer advice on how to confront abductions for ransom when he himself was seized, local authorities said.

Unknown assailants grabbed him on Dec. 10, said Charles LeBlanc, the president of the Houston, Texas-based security firm ASI Global LLC., where Batista is a consultant.

"We have notified the FBI and Mexican authorities and they are working on the case," LeBlanc said Monday. "What we are doing is we’re offering our support to the family and hoping for the best."

The U.S. Embassy in Mexico City said it would not comment on the case, and LeBlanc declined to say whether the kidnappers had demanded a ransom.

 

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Flesh House by Stuart MacBride

 

Flesh House, Stuart MacBride, St. Martin’s Minotaur, $24.95.

 

I consider Stuart MacBride to be one of the top emerging writers of the past several years. What I most enjoy about his books is their mixture of the commonplace and the horrific, the contrast of the every day lives of the Aberdeen policeman Logan McRae and his cohorts with the despicable crimes they must confront. Like cops everywhere, the Aberdeen force uses quite a bit of mordant black humor in order to maintain their sanity, and its this element, served up with a dram of classic Scotch irony and understatement, that makes MacBride’s work so appealing.

MacBride’s first three books were all excellent, but in his latest, Flesh House, he turns the amplifier up to eleven. The amplification is not so much in the private lives part – Logan’s love life is in its usual state of chaos, as is the hair of his superior, D. I. Steel, this time characterized as resembling "an electrocuted badger." Logan’s other boss, however, the choleric, candy loving D. I. Insch, suffers serious repercussions from the misdeeds of his past in the case of a notorious criminal known as "The Flesher."

It’s with this villain that Flesh House really rocks out. Cannibalism has long been one of civilization’s greatest taboos, and the chance discovery of a little "long pork" in the commercial food chain is enough to send shock waves throughout the whole of Scotland. But that revelation is just the beginning of many horrors to come, provided by a diabolically clever maniac in a butcher’s apron and Margaret Thatcher mask.

MacBride sustains his mastery all the way through the jaw dropping, ingeniously audacious climax and coda. Though strong meat (so to speak) for some readers, Flesh House is one of the best books of the year, a wicked combination of Donald Westlake’s deadpan wit and Thomas Harris’s infernal ingenuity.

There’s even a penultimate twist – when I discussed this grisly book with MacBride at the Bouchercon, he was most interested in showing me the picture of his cat which appears in the mock newspaper on page forty-three!

 

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Stacy

 

Stacy

 

Icy Stacy stayed true to her

Watery roots her opaque surface

Glittering smooth and placid

Unruffled catching the light

Approaching her still perfection

Was like diving into dark lake

Not knowing what lies beneath

Seeing only your own

Apprehensive reflection

 

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In Memorium: Bettie Page 1923-2008

 

Bettie III

 

She walked in on her toes

Tippy toes like a toe dancer

And there was this beautiful flawless

Tan body

Tan all over no marks no freckles

No blemishes Miss Perfection

La Venus Des Mers Chaudes

Miss Bluebell Urania and Porne

Transcendental love common lust

White breasted one

She radiated

The adventurous spirit of Bettie Page

Hypnotic Magnetic Uninhibited

She knew her body

Taboo

Nobody is that fresh Bettie

Came alive in front of the camera

She would give you that look

Like well what’s coming next

Nightgown candlestick Christmas tree

Bettie thought it was playtime

She wasn’t uptight about being tied up

Striporama Varietese Teasearama

Eyeful Wink Titter

Bettie’s Clown Dance

The visual power to provoke

Something inside

Something very specific about the moment

Once she enters your consciousness

You see evidence of her everywhere

 

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