There’s a formulation that everybody seems to use these days when expressing condolences – "My thoughts and prayers go out to the family" it roughly goes, though often the thoughts and prayers "are with" the bereaved. What exactly is that supposed to mean, anyway? Do those who utter it actually think about what they’re saying for one second, or is it one of those cliches that are regurgitated undigested? Is it really supposed to be consoling that someone is thinking about you? What earthly good is that? In my view the idea of these thoughts "going out" of someone’s brain, traveling through the aether, and then landing to "be with" a mourning person’s grey matter is a little bit creepy. I guess it’s a sort of a new age telepathy type thing. And what are these thoughts? Beyond the usual euphemism of someone "passing," if the true thoughts were known they’d probably be along the lines of I’m glad it wasn’t me.
As for the "prayers" part of the formulation, shouldn’t the said prayers be going out to be with God rather than the bereaved? That notwithstanding, I know that there are people out there who pray regularly and would gain genuine comfort in knowing a fellow holy roller is working the Lord on their behalf, and God bless ‘em (presumably), but I’ve seen the prayer bit come out of hipsters who wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere near a church, reprobates whose only connection to the Almighty should be on the other end of a thunderbolt, and various others who usually only say prayers when they scratch off their lottery tickets.
Sure, it’s nice to have something to say to someone who’s hurting, but meaningless boilerplate like this is just a shield against true feeling. To me it’s just another expression of the egotism of our age – it’s all about my thought and my prayers. What ever happened to sympathy? Now that’s a sublime concept, expressing some kind of communion, some kind of shared emotion, rather than the standard motive of today, i.e. I’m doing this so I’ll feel better about myself with no real benefit to anyone else. Sympathy is a connection between two people while thoughts and prayers come out of one head regardless of where they allegedly go.
Big deal, right? You’re making much ado about nothing, UBU, breaking a butterfly on a wheel, etc. Sorry, but some of us still think the authenticity of language is important. The modernist movement was galvanized when all those tired, rhetorical formulations about God and Valor and Homeland were exposed as bloody lies by the contrived madness of World War One. Guys like Hemingway insisted that words mean something again, that they be clear and exact and sincere, but it seems to me that we’re still being emotionally suffocated by stupid, meaningless, universally used expressions like "take care" or "have a nice day."
Go ahead, the next time you want to express yourself why don’t you try to be authentic instead of uttering a cliche without thinking – it won’t kill you. And if it does, well, my thoughts and prayers go out to your family.
A Leak In The Safe 
Funny you should bring this up now. A few hours ago my dear friend ST’s grandfather died fairly expectedly. My comment on the deceased: "I like him." And I do.
That’s cause you’re real, dude. Watch out — the carnivores don’t like that!
I think your rather ignorant. I have used this phrase on family, they know me personally and we genuinely like and respect one another. So when I say,” my thoughts go out to you and your family” at an extremely sorrowful time in their lives, they understand the love I wish to express. They know their loss is my loss. My message is always returned with a lengthy phone call or letter. Not a few lines on social media or a card, though attached with flowers is always nice to receive. it’s pretty simple really but perhaps people know your words mean squat. They know this through your overbearing and intimidating attitude of others. Perhaps you even see yourself as Hemingway, who wasn’t that happy a man for all his words of wisdom and achievements, he did kill himself after all.
Just look at the garbage you’ve spewed, well over 500 words to say what? You dont understand what people mean by a few chosen words? You should of stuck with “what ever happened to sympathy.” A connection between people from one head – You couldn’t even say that right without over dramatising.
I personally think your article shows you to be a wannabe author. However, no-one would buy your books with the exception of Stella, as all she had to say over someone who died, was “I like him”! in the present tense. Your sexist choice of a naked woman and a snake further signifies your lack of vision. Go get a real life!
I love it when people you don’t know “your” from “you’re” call you ignorant. Rather.