So…I was idly channel flipping between the PISTONS (winning, as usual) and WOLVERINES (losing, as usual) basketball games (and, yes, I know these her newfangled televisions you can go directly from one channel to another BUT I’ve found that the flipping method leads to fewer simultaneous commercials and some happy accidents, O.K.?) when I came across the "news bloc" in the middle of the dial (if there was a dial). I must admit I only catch the BILL O’REILLY show by chance, and like all of Fox "news" I can only stand a small dose before a combination of laughter and nausea overcomes me, but really have you seen it lately? It’s geared for the grade school level – Bill opines, speaking slowly and clearly like a elementary school teacher, while on the right of the screen his simplistic pronouncements are printed in an even more simplistic form – LIBERALS BAD TRAITORS – like that same teacher chalking the keywords on a blackboard. Bill seemed particularly outraged that NBC news has finally started deviating from the BUSH party line, and actually presenting OTHER POINTS OF VIEW. He was upset that NBC and the WASHINGTON POST had presented a liberal and not clearly labeled him as such. Of course by the same token the words BIASED CONSERVATIVE DEMAGOGUE should scroll across the screen every time Bill’s mug appears.

It’s always been incredible to me that the most slanted network, Fox, is the one always accusing others of bias. The BUSH administration has admitted they do not favor a reality based view of the world, but would rather rely on Conservative "theory" and fundamentalist dogma, a stance that has led to their notable successes like IRAQ, the KATRINA RESPONSE, GLOBAL WARMING, and virtually EVERYTHING ELSE THEY’VE DONE! Like Soviet science, any time the real world does not conform to administration dogma the messenger delivering the real news is pilloried. For presenting the simple facts without the sort of 1984 semantics the Bush regime favors (it’s NOT a CIVIL WAR, O.K. – it’s outside agitators) news agencies are called traitors. BILL then moved on to his latest crusade, the startling, brave moral insight that CHILD MOLESTERS ARE BAD. This, of course, is something EVERYBODY can agree on, but since liberals don’t think accused child molesters should be instantly executed, they are accused of supporting them. Coming from a guy who said Shawn Hornbeck had "fun" being a captive of Michael Devlin and "liked" it because he did not have to go to school, it’s easy to see what a compassionate expert on the topic Bill is. I don’t need to point out that the conservatives have sunk to new lows in order to justify their point of view – they’re really desperate.

Then there’s KEITH OLBERMANN. My god, he’s talking normally, at the college level, not as if his audience are brain dead rabble who need to be whipped up. He just presents the facts , which in the Scooter Libby trial are more than enough to yet again damn the Bush/Cheney regime. There’s a reporter who was ACTUALLY AT THE TRIAL. What kind of news show is that? How refreshing, and how great that he’s gaining ground on the likes of Billy boy without pandering.

But let’s face it, the conservatives still don’t like to face reality, and a little thing like THE LAST ELECTION isn’t going to sway them. These great champions of "democracy" and "free speech" don’t actually support such things when they don’t go their way. That there are actually twenty-four percent of people in this country who support Bush’s handling of the war in Iraq demonstrates that there are a lot of lunatics out there who are completely out of touch with reality (hello, JOHN McCAIN), people who can still deliver a hearty cable audience to demagogues like O’Reilly. I know liberals are much more peace loving and inclusive but we’ve got to hoot down these hateful clowns whenever we can.

Or whenever we come across them while channel flipping – hey, there’s the Vinnie Pazienza/Greg Haugen fights on ESPN classic – now, that’s reality…