There’s a line in Poe where the narrator says that he can’t remember how, when or precisely where he first became acquainted with the Lady Ligeia. That’s one problem I never had with Heather, even though, like the guy in the story, I sometimes feel like my memory has become "feeble through much suffering." Still I know exactly how, when and where our relationship began and can even recall the one word that started it all.
It was fall, and even though school had just started, already cold enough for coats. We were both walking in front of Memorial Hall, me on my way to the library and Heather headed in the opposite direction. And so, inevitably, as we had so many times before, we passed each other.
Only this time Heather said hi.
I stopped dead in my tracks, thunderstruck. I can only think of my experience at that moment as a kind of enlightenment – not an enlightenment in the traditional sense of suddenly becoming aware of my past lives, but, rather, of in some way being able to see my future, to understand that if I didn’t do something, if I didn’t immediately take advantage of the situation, I’d regret it until the day I died.
Wait! I hurried after her. Heather, wait.
She turned to face me, her great grey eyes playing over me from under her floppy hat, the brim pinned up with a silk flower. What?
Why?
I stood there, hands at my sides, palms out, trying to look as open and unthreatening as possible. I mean, I just wanted to ask you why.
Why what?
She shifted from foot to foot warily, and rightly so, as my reputation for rudeness and sarcasm was, then as now, richly deserved.
Why’d you say hi? I mean, you never did before.
Why? I don’t know…
She crossed her arms, clutching her books to her chest.
No, really, I’m not mad or putting you on or anything, I’m just really glad you did, no kidding. Whatever had just happened to me had filled me with a irresistible imperative, had freed me for a decisive moment from the usual overwhelming teenage terror of being embarrassed. I know it sounds weird and everything, but what if we make a deal right now to always be friends, to always say hi to each other, no matter what.
A slight smile flickered on her lips. Are you serious?
Totally. Totally serious.
It’s just that when you said hi back there it really hit me that here we are, we have this chance to cut through the bull and just be friends, to go ahead and trust each other, right here and now and I, for whatever reason, I feel like if it doesn’t happen I’m going to go crazy or something… I could feel the maniacal burst of energy waning already and self doubt creeping in, picturing the legendary freak out this would no doubt become in school lore. Which is not to say, of course, that I’m not already crazy, probably…
But she laughed, visibly relaxing, amused if nothing else. Plenty of guys had tried plenty of lines on Heather, but certainly nothing like this. Well, to tell you the truth, Harry said you were an alright guy and that maybe I should give you a chance.
Harry. That explained it. Harry was the secret and not so secret genius of our school, the first kid I’d ever met who I had to admit was incontestably smarter than me. He was no nerd however, but had used his great cunning to figure out every social angle, pulling strings and unearthing secrets until he was everybody’s pal, the invisible emperor. He was especially diligent about becoming the confidante every beautiful girl on campus, but, like some Greek Cassandra curse, or maybe because of his diminutive, almost dwarfish appearance, they uniformly refused to take him seriously as anything other than a friend, and he had to live his romantic life vicariously, setting couples up and sometimes tearing them down.
A little bit creepy, yes, but at the moment I didn’t mind being his beneficiary at all.
