Abbott Handerson Thayer, 1849-1921
Oil on canvas
Freer Gallery
She comes behind me while
I’m sitting there at the banquet
and when I realize it’s her it’s over–
over for everybody and everything that’s not her.
the boring banquet, my unfortunate date,
all of it.
I get up, turn and face her,
and she’s dazzling as always, standing there
in that dramatic dress of many colors.
I say her name and she says mine —
the usual preliminaries and updates,
but I know more about her situation than I should
and ask her if I can possibly give her a lift home.
She says no, but hesitantly enough that
I know she actually wants one.
Come on, I say. You don’t want to take the bus.
Not at this hour. I put my arms around her.
Not in that dress.
She shrugs. It’s not about the dress, she says.
But I guess I would appreciate a ride.
Great, I say, wonderful, and slide my hands down to her ass,
like old times.
Don’t. She flinches.
Come on. I take her by the shoulders, holding her still,
staring dead in her eyes.
You know how I feel about you.
You know I would never, ever hurt you in any way.
I don’t know, she says, shutting her eyelids tight.
I don’t know that. Sometimes I just choose to believe it.
Tottering on tectonic heels
Producing a universal quaking
Flicking cigarette ashes
Ashes we all fall down
Is this where you want me
Looking up to you
Double vision trails as you
Stalk to and fro in front of
The panoramic picture window
In the midst of a typically
Half terrifying half hilarious
Rant — hysterical either way
.
And fucked up me I just see
A forest of legs scissoring the skyline
A futurist horse effigy carving space
I start laughing I mean how
Is it after I tried so hard
To get you into my bed
Instead I wind up here
Supine on your luxuriant carpet
And naturally my laughter renders
You angrier and more amused
— hysterical either way
Often and often his yearning eyes had plucked her from the oceanic void of the increate and held her, softly writhing, flushed, exhaling a mist of breath.
— Ross Lockridge, Jr. Raintree County