Warning: the following is not a parody or satire, but the authentic description of a forthcoming book published by a major publisher. The book in question is also not a parody or satire but a sincere testament to the fact that either the vampire craze has progressed beyond the realm of the absurd or that civilization as we know it has come to an end.
Bite Marks
Terence Taylor
A teenage runaway is killed and brought back to life to feed on her bastard child, by a sadistic vampire who’s stalked her family for decades. The undead infant escapes, triggering a citywide search for a vampire baby whose existence threatens to expose the entire vampire society. 400 pp. 30, 000 print run.
A Leak In The Safe 