POLICE BEAT
Police: Intruder mistaken on house
When Ann Arbor Police found a drunken intruder in a campus-area home early today, he was face down on a stranger’s bed – with no shoes or shirt – and thought he was at his sister’s house in Wayne, Michigan.
The 23-year-old man, on leave from the Navy, is accused of forcing open the door to an apartment in the 600 block of Church Street at 2:30 a.m. and then entering another unlocked apartment to sleep.
A resident of the home said he was studying at 2:30 a.m. when he heard a crashing sound on the second-floor, then discovered an intruder walking up the stairs mumbling that the home belonged to his mother.
When officers arrived, they had to force the door to the apartment because the intruder had a security chain on the door. He was face down on the bed, partially clothed with broken glasses, and insisted he was in Wayne.
The man later told police he is on leave from the military and was drinking with friends when he lost track of them and ended up in the home.
Neighbors scuffle on AATA bus
Two women who live in a senior care complex scuffled on an AATA bus mid-morning Monday, Ann Arbor Police said.
A 70-year-old woman called police and said she was boarding the bus when her neighbor got on and shoved her into the driver, then kicked her in the back of the legs repeatedly. She said the woman has never liked her, but she doesn’t know why.
The other woman, a 74-year-old resident of the complex, told police she was getting off the bus when the 70-year-old pushed her and almost knocked her off the bus.
Neither had visible injuries, but the 70-year-old asked to be transported to a local hospital for evaluation. Police are attempting to contact the bus driver to interview him.
A Leak In The Safe 
And why is the story about a drunk sailor significant? Oh oh and up she rises.
"It’s on America’s tortured browThat Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow" D. Bowie
I know some of you don’t appreciate the self-conscious grammeropathology involved in using "drunk" rather than "drunken" above. Perhaps a membership in the Society for the Appreciation of Drunk(en) Sailors would help one understand, the one main obstacle being the failure of said society to exist, but it could exist, just like the Society of Drunken Mayans on the Mountain Footpaths of Chiapas could exist. I was not drunk when I wrote the word "drunk." I was in the Navy. If a Republican can "misspeak" must I then constantly self-edit in real time. I was not a Young Republican. I was a Delta Phi. Agggh I mistyped. At this point I am identifying myself with Konstantin Tsiolkovsky the Russian rocket scientist pictured as a figurative expression of my identity (subject to change). I did in fact see the tugboat the Arthur Rimbaud in Djibouti. At least my muse is not a snarling furry little bad-breathed varmit (of course not a reflection upon you as I do see you have your standards).
And so because I am too tender of erogenous sensitivity to enjoy UBUART I have now as promised joined Radio Fee Ubu. I do think the small coincidences matter, like my dreaming of David Bowie on David Bowie’s birthday this year or my giving a talk about Russian Astrology at a time when Saturn is opposite Neptune, the Saturn/Neptune nexus being crucial in the astrological signature of communism. Or my coming upon the elk herd of the wild hunt of souls during a midnight walk days before I gave a talk on Siberian Shamanism or freeing a young bear from the dumpster behind my bedroom window days before I gave a talk on the Occult Features of Soviet Russia.
Oh, oh and up she rises. I did grow up in one of those southern conservative households where listening to Joy Division in the basement on a Friday night in the green shadow of magnolia was a featured diversion.
"Put him in the scuppers with the hose pipe on himHoist him aboard with a running bowlinePut him in the brig until he’s sober." Traditional