Bethany, Part VIII

"Yeah, I mean, I can’t act the way I’ve acted and expect Pitt Prep to pat me on the back for it, can I? Why should the administration let me stand up there and say anything at graduation when I’ve spent the last four years telling them what lying, sleeze bag hypocrites they are – which is true by the way."

It’s hard for a dedicated ironist to get taken seriously, and Bethany cocked her head and narrowed her eyes, studying me for any evidence of an elaborate put on.

"Are you really serious? Because we’ve already asked Littleman Henry and it wouldn’t be fair to him to…"

"Hold it, Bethany, hold it!" I said, impulsively putting my hands on her shoulders. "Will you forget about the damn ode for a minute? You’re right, O.K.? I don’t care about it anymore, it’s not – that’s not what I want to talk to you about."

"All right," she said slowly, still digesting it. "What do you want to talk to me about, then?"

I suddenly felt self-conscious about touching her and dropped my hands, even though she, surprisingly enough, hadn’t flinched or stepped back.

"I just wanted to say – O.K., number one, I wanted to say I’m sorry for being a jerk to you back there and for the no doubt millions of times I’ve been a jerk to you before, and that I think it was really cool the way you stood up to me."

"Thank-you," she said warily.

"And second, well, when we were in there confronting each other and everything, I just had this snap, this realization – this insight that you’re a really admirable person, and I don’t know, just a damn (I’d been reading a lot of Hemingway), a damn fine girl."

"Really?" Contributing to my generally dismal reputation at Pitt Prep was my habit of being obnoxious to everyone in the school with the exception of certain very pretty girls like Heather and Virginia, and whatever else she was, Bethany was not considered a very pretty girl.

"Yes, really, and it was like suddenly I saw what a fine girl you are and how stupid I’ve been to antagonize you…"

For the first time since I’d known her, no nonsense, ultra-capable Bethany was apparently at a loss for words.

"…and also how stupid I’ve been not to get to know you any better, because I realized that I’d, uh, that I’d really like to."

"What? What are you trying to say, UBU?"

"What I’m trying to say is, that I’d like to spend some time with you, if you’ll let me, I guess."

"Spend some time with me…" I could almost see the honor student wheels turning in her head until things lined up in a more recognizable form. "UBU, are you asking me out on a date?"

"Sure, sure, Bethany, but it doesn’t have to be a date date, you know, I mean we could just go over to Friendly’s sometime and talk or whatever…" My initial moment of clarity seemed to be degenerating into babble. "Listen, I know it sounds kind of dumb, but while we in there it just like popped into my head wow, this is somebody I should get to know better, and I thought maybe if we got away from everybody there might be some way we could make that happen…."

Somehow things had become reversed and now I was the confused, defensive one as she stood there, set and sure – I’d been transformed from an enlightened soul in the midst of a great revelation into just another horny schoolboy begging for a date.

"All right," she said calmly. "That’s fine with me."

"All right? Really?"

"Yes, really, UBU. We can go out. On a date date if you like."